A Push in the Right Direction
by MyVersion41319
Summary: Beckett gets a concussion while working a case and is forced to let someone look after her. But what happens when she realizes that having help is so much better than doing it on your own? Kate's journey to open up to the people that matter most. Pre 47 seconds-Caskett
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody. This started out as little idea, but as soon as I started writing I had bigger plans for it. No spoilers, but it is set in current season 4 and I may add in things based on episodes as they air. I needed to let my Caskett frustration out cause they are just not moving fast enough for me right now. Please read and Let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle in any way, shape, or form. (Except in my dreams)**

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><p>"Are you okay?" Castle asked in the car on the way back to precinct.<p>

"Yeah, I'm fine." Beckett managed with a weak smile.

"Could you say that any less convincingly?" He was worried about her. They had just taken down a particularly rough suspect, and she was thrown around fairly good before he could interfere. Not that stopped the guy from pulling a gun out of his waist band forcing Beckett to shoot him.

"I'm okay, I just hit my head when he tackled me."

"Yeah, I saw. That's why I'm worried. You went down pretty hard."

"I just need to go home; it's been a long day." She hoped he wouldn't push it. This case had been long and challenging. Kate was tired, and he was right. Her head hurt like hell. It was time to go home.

"Kate, if you have a concussion you shouldn't go home and sleep alone."

She couldn't help herself and gave him her signature glare at that comment.

"You know what I mean. You should have had the medics check you out before they took him to the hospital. It was just a leg wound; he could have waited a minute."

"Castle, I'm fine and if I am concussed they would have tried to convince me to go the hospital. It's happened before."

"Just have a Lanie take a look, it won't take long." He pleaded. Castle could tell Beckett wasn't herself, and it had taken her a long time to get up after that hit. Only moving when the suspect pulled the gun neither one of them knew he had.

"Castle, I'm fine. She's busy, and I want to go home"

"You know she's not too busy, and would be happy to do it" He wasn't going to stop till she agreed. He knew Kate hated to admit when she hurt, but he was going to make her.

"Are you going to let this go?" Kate asked even though she already knew the answer.

"No." Castle was firm in a way Beckett found kinda hot.

"Fine" If she was being honest, she was going to go have Lanie check her anyways. She didn't want Castle to know how bad she was hurting, but she wasn't stupid. Her head really hurt and was getting worse.

When they got back, she told Castle to head up stairs and she would go down to see Lanie. He was kinda surprised she told him to say. He had just assumed she would be sending him home.

Lanie was in her office on the computer when Kate knocked.

"Come in." The ME responded and turned away from the screen.

"Hey girl, what's up?" Lanie asked looking back at the screen, her rather cheery voice made Kate's head pound. But it wasn't Lanie's fault she was just happy. Her and Esposito were having dinner tonight.

"Are you busy?" Kate asked sheepishly.

"Not really, just writing up an autopsy report. You find your guy?" Lanie asked still facing the computer, typing away.

"Yeah, but I had to shoot him. We'll have to wait to question him."

The detective now had Lanie's full attention now.

"What happened?" She asked, concern in her voice.

"That's why I'm here. I took a couple of hits before I could take him down. He tackled me into a wall pretty hard. I hit my head and was wondering if you could check my pupils. I'm pretty sure I have a concussion. I didn't think it was that bad, but Castle noticed I was acting weird, so I figured I better play it safe. That and he wouldn't stop harassing me about it." Kate admitted. She knew it was Lanie, and she shouldn't feel embarrassed, but the cop in her hated saying a suspect got one up on her.

"Of course, here sit." She said pointing to the extra chair and turning to dig through her drawer for a penlight. "Did you lose consciousness?"

"No, everything was blurry but it only lasted a second, and I remember everything." Beckett tried to sound confident and not in pain.

"Ok, look straight at me." Lanie replied shining the light in the detective's eyes.

"Kate" She said wearily.

"Yea, Lanie" Kate breathed.

"Any nausea, dizziness, or fatigue?" Lanie asked. Her tone had completely changed from the Beckett first got there.

"I'm always tired, you know that. But I'm a little dizzy"

"You're lucky, I'm off tonight and can stay with you cause if not I'd be sending you to the ER." Lanie said with a worried look on her face.

"Lanie, I'm fine. I can take care of myself." Kate refuted, a little too loud for the way she was feeling and winced at the sound of her own voice.

"Really?" Lanie sarcastically responded gesturing to Kate who was now holding her head. "I'm not letting you go home alone. Head injuries can get worse in the following hours. You need someone to look out for changes, and not let you sleep for too long at a time. I know you're exhausted."

"I'll set my alarm, for what every couple of hours?" Kate tried to persuade her.

"And when you don't wake up, is you're alarm gonna call an ambulance for you? I know that new iPhone of yours is fancy but it's not that good. Go tell Gates that you need tomorrow off and get your stuff. I'll meet you up there"

"Lanie" Beckett pleaded

"I'm not messing around, Kate. Concussions can be serious, and writer boy was right. You're not okay."

"You have your date with Esposito tonight."

"You know he'll understand. We'll reschedule." Lanie said with a smile. She was eager to see Javi, but this was more important. And she knew he would feel the same.

"No, you are guys are trying to work things out, I'm not going to get in the way of that."

"You're not, we can wait a few days." Lanie knew she was stubborn, and it was going to take a little persistence.

"You should go, I'll be okay." Kate really just wanted to go home and take a long bath. She felt well enough to be alone.

"What if I go, and come over after. But you stay awake, and call me if it gets worse. Better yet call an ambulance, then call me." Lanie tried to bargain with her, since Beckett wasn't backing down.

"Lanie, it's not a big deal. I don't need to go the hospital!"

"Take some Tylenol, no Advil or aspirin. I'll be there as soon as we're done" Lanie chose to just ignore her.

"I'm not having you rush your date, and we both you won't be done till tomorrow morning." Kate said breaking into a smile. "I see the way you look at each other, and you know my opinion on you two at Ryan's wedding."

"Girl, you sound like me. Maybe there is something seriously wrong" Lanie laughed.

There was a light knock at the door.

"Come in"

Castle ducked his head in . "Hey, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay, you were gone awhile."

"Yeah, Castle. I'm good." Beckett said firmly. She wanted him to believe her.

"Except for the concussion" Lanie chimed in. Kate knew by the look on his face she was unsuccessful, but Lanie didn't need to spell it out for him.

"I knew you had one" Castle said. Kate expected him to gloat, he was usually proud that he knew her so well, but he just looked concerned.

"And she doesn't seem to want any help either." Lanie added, knowing with Castle here, she would convince her friend to accept some.

"Kate" Castle looked at her like she was child even using the voice he usually reserved for when Alexis was in trouble. Not that he ever needed it much.

"Shut it Castle. Lanie, I just don't want you cancelling your plans. I'm fine. You guys freak out over the smallest things. I've had a concussion before. I can take care of myself. I know what to look for." Beckett could deal with Lanie pestering her, but Castle was too much.

"Why don't you just come over to the loft? I just talked to Alexis, dinner is almost done, and there'll be more than enough." Castle suggested with that look on his face that made Kate melt.

"Will it get you two off my back?" Beckett was feeling rather defensive, but she knew Castle was going to win this one. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't say no to those eyes.

"We're just worried about you. You really scared us in back in May, nobody wants to take any chances" Lanie pleaded, her tone sombre and sad. She clearly didn't pick up on the way Rick and Kate were looking at each other.

"I'm sorry" Kate breathed.

"Get your stuff, let's go. If we wait much longer the food will be cold" Castle said making her decision for her. She walked out, but Castle didn't follow. Kate didn't want to argue anymore and headed towards the elevator. Lanie's words had hit her hard, and she felt terrible emotionally and physically. Castle probably just wanted to ask what to look for, and maybe that wasn't such a bad idea as her head was really hurting.

"She's really alright?" Castle questioned, when Beckett was out of sight.

"Yea, she should be fine. I'm just worried, you understand" Lanie answered.

"Yeah, yeah I do"

"I'll be over later to take her home. I'm basically only worried about her falling asleep. I know she's exhausted." The ME explained.

"Ok, so should I not let her sleep?" Rick asked.

"She can, just wake her up every two hours or so, ask some simple questions, and then let her go back to sleep. But I doubt she'll want to till she gets home. If she gets really tired or can't seem to stay awake that's a bad sign"

"Alright, I better get up there, before she leaves"

"Ok, see you later. And thank you"

"It's no problem. You know I'd do anything for her." Castle replied with a smile and headed towards the elevator.

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><p>"Kate! What a nice surprise. How are you, darling?" Martha exclaimed when they entered the loft.<p>

"Hi, Martha. I'm doing okay. How are you?" Kate tried to put on a smile, but had a feeling she was failing.

"Mother, could you try not to be so loud. Beckett's lying, she was attacked by suspect and has a concussion." Castle told her as he gently helped Kate take off her coat.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear." Martha said softly.

"Don't worry about it, I'm really fine" Kate took off her heels, but before she could bend down to move them over by the door, Castle picked them up and asked what he could get for her.

"Thanks, um Lanie said I should take some Tylenol." Kate was suddenly a little nervous, she was usually comfortable at his apartment, but the way him and Martha were looking at her made her uneasy

"I thought I heard voices" Alexis said coming down the stairs. "Hey, Detective Beckett. How are you feeling? My dad said you hit your head."

"Hi Alexis, yeah a suspect got a little rough. I'm fine though, just a small concussion. And by the way you know you can call me Kate" She said with a smile. Beckett wanted to down play her injury as much as possible, not just for herself but for Alexis. Kate knew that the girl wasn't happy about her dad being put in the line of danger. She didn't want her to worry anymore.

The teenager just smiled, and Castle walked back in handing Kate two pills heading to the kitchen.

"Thanks" Kate smiled and everyone followed to the table.

"How's the internship search coming, sweetie?" Castle asked his daughter. He wanted her to be successful, but it was clouded by how much he just wanted her to relax and have a little fun. She would have plenty time to study and work towards her future, but he knows his daughter and a break wasn't going to happen.

"Okay, I found a few I'm interested in, but most of the deadlines and coming up really soon. Plus they're super competitive, and I'll be one of the youngest kids applying. So I don't think I will get any of them." Alexis sounded small and embarrassed.

"What field are you looking into?" Kate asked. She wanted the teenager to know she cared.

"I'm not sure. I got applications for a law firm, and programs at Mount Sinai med school and Microsoft."

"Sounds impressive" Kate said with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess. That's probably why I won't get in." Alexis responded sarcastically.

"Honey" Castle reach over and grabbed her hand trying to comfort her.

"Try not to worry, Alexis. Everyone gets rejected sometimes. I know it can seem overwhelming, but it really gets better. This is a hard time for everyone. You're growing up and that's not easy. But trust me, everything will play out in exactly the right way. Whether it seems that way now or not."

"Thanks, Kate."

Castle couldn't help but stare at his partner across the table. There was nothing but love in his eyes. Kate turned her head and met his glance. She didn't like to admit the attraction, but this was one of those moments when she had to. The two of them could have entire conversation with their eyes. On a case, it certainly came in handy, but right now they were saying something completely different. He was saying thank you and maybe I love you. And she was saying it back. The thought scared and exhilarated her at the same time. In an instant, she broke gaze and turned away slightly freaked. Castle had to smile, the moment had been that perfect.

The rest of the dinner pasted with only small conversation and the passing of bowls. When they were done, Kate offered to help but Castle would not have it and sent her to living room to relax.

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><p>"How are you feeling?" Rick asked as he took a seat next to Kate on the couch.<p>

"Better, thanks. " Kate murmured as his words broke her out of haze. "Where'd your mom and Alexis go?"

"Out and upstairs"

Kate nodded in response and wondered how long she had been daydreaming or maybe actual dreaming, she was exhausted.

"Thank you... for what you said to Alexis. I think it helped."

"No problem, Castle. I was a mess at her age. College seemed so overwhelming, I was totally convinced I was going to make the wrong decision and screw up my whole life." Kate laughed. She had no idea then but her choice really didn't matter because a year later her whole world was destroyed.

"I was the exact opposite. I was so carefree back then. All I wanted was to live and write and be free. College was my chance to do what I wanted and actual school work was not part of the plan." Castle responded with his own laugh, but he could see the pain in her eyes and it wasn't physical.

They just sat in silence for a few minutes. Each reminiscing in their own minds. College was a very different experience for them. He had the time of his life, while she went through the darkest part of hers.

"You okay?" He asked breaking the quiet.

"Just thinking, but it's getting late. I should go." Kate said standing up. Castle grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her down.

"You can't" He said softly.

"What?"

"I promised Lanie I'd keep you here till she could come. She doesn't want you going home alone."

"I really feel much better. She doesn't need to end her date." Kate huffed reaching for her phone.

"Kate, just stay. Listen to her. There's no shame in needing help once in awhile."

"I'm not ashamed."

"I know. Sorry" Castle said backing off.

"No, I'm sorry you're right. It's just I'm used to taking care of myself."

"It doesn't have to be that way" Rick offered.

"Thank you"

"Always"

The moment was interrupted, as usual. The sound of Kate's phone gave her a reason to look away. It was a text from Lanie.

**How do you feel? Be honest**_, _The screen read.

"It's Lanie" Kate shared as she wrote back. **Doing better. Take your time**

"Is she coming now?" Castle asked not even hiding the disappointment in his voice.

"I don't think yet. Unless, do you want her to?"

"No, no. Stay" The words rushing out of Castle's mouth.

Kate's phone chimed again. **Good to hear, I'll be about an hour or so**_._

Kate responded with a quick "Ok thanks" and set her phone back on the end table.

"She'll be here in like an hour."

"Oh ok. You want to watch tv or something?"

"Sure" Kate said with a smile as she reached over grabbing the remote and handing it to him.

"No, you pick." Castle said denying the object.

After much channel surfing, they settled on some random movie. Castle got all excited, and Kate didn't care. She was lost in her own thoughts.

About twenty minutes later, Kate was struggling to keep her head up and feeling the stress of the day in the dark, semi-quiet room.

"You okay?" Castle whispered.

"Just tired" She answered bringing her hand up to hold her head as she rested on arm on the couch. Kate thought she should annoyed at the insane amount of times he had asked her that question, but she strangely wasn't.

"Can you even see sitting like that?"

"Um yeah, it's fine."

"You know, you could ... rest your head on my shoulder? It would be more comfortable." Castle suggested completely unsure of himself.

Kate knew this was one of situations that meant so much more than it appeared. She was hurt, and he was literally offering for her to lean on him. Kate wanted to, she did. She wanted to take the wall down and use him for support instead. Maybe it was the headache resurfacing as the medicine wore off or maybe she was really ready for this small step, but she scooted over and placed her head on his shoulder. He snaked his arm around her back and pulled her in closer. She accepted and snuggle into his warm body.

"Comfy?" He questioned, trying to make sure he didn't just imagine her acceptance of their current position.

"You have no idea." She replied as a sly smile took over her face just as he looked over.

Kate could not believe how at ease she felt. The pain of the day was seemingly fading away. She was relaxed cuddling up on the couch with him. She should have figured he'd be a great cuddler. For about 30 minutes everything was perfect. They both were happier than they had been in a long time and one step closer to actually telling each other that. But a knock at the door, ruined their peace.

"That's Lanie" Castle whispered but he didn't move.

"Yeah" Kate said pausing for a second before shifting away.

Castle got up and answered the door.

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><p><strong>Hope everyone liked it. I plan to update about once or twice a week, but I'm college student so things come up. Not too sure how long I'm going to take it, but should be a decent amount of chapters based on response. Reviews are appreciated :)<strong>

**Thanks for reading**

**Meagan**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody, I'm not too sure what I think about this chapter. It didn't turn out how I thought it would. But let me know what you think. Thanks so much for all the story alerts and favorites. And special thanks to everyone who left reviews. I'm so excited people are reading this. I hope you guys like this chapter.**

**Once again, I do not own Castle.**

**And I apologize for all the problems getting this chapter uploaded. I have no idea why my formatting was messed up, but it should be fixed now**

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><p>It was a little after midnight, when Kate and Lanie got to her apartment.<p>

It had only been about twenty minutes, but she missed Castle. She had been so comfortable in his arms and felt safe for the first time in a long. Kate knew that she couldn't keep pushing him away. She didn't want to, not anymore. That damn wall had to come down.

"I'm sure you want to go to sleep." Lanie offered with a smile.

"Come on, you're not going to tell me about your date? You were silent the whole way here."

"So were you, I figured you wanted the quiet."

"No, I want details." Kate was curious and selfishly needed something other than Castle to think about.

"Okay, but I want details too. Did Castle take good care of you?"

"Lanie... but yeah I guess he did. It still hurts but I feel a lot better.

"Go take some more Tylenol, I'll dish when you get back."

Kate headed to the kitchen. "You want something to drink?" she called out.

"No thanks." Lanie answered taking a seat on the couch.

Kate came back in and sat down next to Lanie.

"It went really well. Things were kinda awkward at first, you know, but it turned out to be a good night. We loosened up by the time the food came, and it was almost like old times. We didn't talk about anything serious." Lanie told her.

"Did you want to?" Kate asked.

"Yes and no. We haven't really talked about why we broke up."

"I am probably the worst person to talk to about this, we all know I don't talk about feelings." Beckett said with a laugh. "But I would give it a little time. It was only your first date. The time will come when it feels right to bring it up."

"Yeah, you're right. It will come up soon enough I'm sure." Lanie agreed. Kate nodded and then yawned. "We should go to bed" Lanie suggested.

"Yeah, ok. So how long do I get to sleep?"

"I'll come check on you in like 2 hours, but it'll be quick. Tell me your name and the date, and you can go back to bed." Lanie responded grabbing the duffle bag she had brought and turning to head towards the guest room.

"Hey Lanie?" Kate called out as she walked away.

"Yeah"

"What's today's date?"

"It's the 31st, but maybe I'll ask something else" She chuckled.

"Good plan, night." Kate offered.

"Good night"

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><p>When Kate woke up the next morning it was almost 11 o'clock. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept that late. She was going to get up last time Lanie checked on her, but she was so tired.<p>

"Good Morning" Lanie greeted as Kate strolled into the kitchen.

"Hey, sorry I slept so late do you have to get to work."

"Nope, I called earlier and said I'd be in late"

"I guess it's a good thing you made me tell Gates what happened. She would have bitched me out if I just didn't show up."

"I'm sure the boys would have covered for you."

"That's true." Kate answered. "What smells so good?"

"I made breakfast, well lunch at this point." Lanie laughed as she glanced at the clock.

"Thanks."

The women sat down at the table and chatted as they ate. The conversation was light for awhile, but Kate decided she had to say something and this was as good of time as any. So after a second of silence, Kate went for it.

"Hey can I talk to you about something. About what you said yesterday?"

Lanie just had a confused look on her face.

"In your office, about last May."

"Oh, Kate. We don't have to." Lanie was sympathetic and didn't want Kate to think she owed her anything.

"No, please I should at least try to explain." Kate was nervous but firm.

"Okay"

"Well after the shooting, I became a different person for those few months. So much happened all at once. With Montgomery's death, my mom's case, Castle, and then to top it all off I got shot. It all happened so fast, and I was overwhelmed."

"Of course you were honey. You don't need to apologize."

"I didn't call because I couldn't. I couldn't talk about how I was feeling. I didn't know how I was feeling."

"It's okay. Yeah, I wanted to help you and be there for you, but that's not how you handle things. And that's fine. I was just worried. That day was terrifying for all of us." She was holding back tears at the memory.

"I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't really thinking about what it was like for everyone else. I was in my own world." Kate apologized.

There was a moment of semi-awkward silence before Lanie spoke up. "I really didn't think you were going to make it." She took a deep breath. "Riding down the hallway in the ER on your gurney doing CPR is one of the most painful things I've ever had to do. When they took you away, Castle and I just stood there covered in blood in complete shock." Lanie could barely get the words out and let herself cry.

Kate was crying too. "Honestly, when Castle was holding me and everything went black. I didn't think I was ever going to wake up. I really thought that it was all over." Lanie reached over the table and grabbed her best friend's hand.

"Can I tell you something?" Kate asked sheepishly.

"Anything."

"I remember everything from that day right up until I passed out." Kate was nearly whispering.

"But you said?" Lanie questioned.

"I lied."

"Why?"

"Castle told me he loved me." Kate shuddered as she spoke.

"What? When?"

"When we were on the ground. He was begging for me to stay with him, and he just said it. Twice actually."

"Oh honey" Lanie was shocked.

"I wanted to say it back, I ready did, but I couldn't speak everything hurt so bad and then nothing." Kate had just about stopped crying, but with that tears flowed again.

"Why didn't you tell him at the hospital?"

"I couldn't. By the time I woke up I had lost the courage. I don't think I'm ready." Everything in Kate's head was telling her to stop talking, to be done. She didn't want to do this.

"He's gonna be crushed you kept this from him." Lanie didn't want to say it, but Kate needed honesty from her.

"I know, which is part of the reason I still haven't told him. The longer I wait, the worse it's gonna be. But I just can't lose him."

"You're not going to. Yeah he'll be mad but he'll get over it."

"But what if I'm not ready for love real love. In case you haven't noticed I'm kinda screwed up." Kate wouldn't meet Lanie's eyes as she spoke.

"You are not. Yes, you've had a hard time but look at all you've overcame. He knows you, better than you'd like to think. Castle would have left by now if he didn't think you were enough for him. You're more than enough for anyone." Lanie gave her hand a small squeeze in encouragement.

"I just I don't think I'm ready."

"Do you know he blames himself for you getting shot?" Lanie didn't know if was the right time to her this, but she felt she should know.

"Why? He tried to save me. It's by no means his fault." Kate was completely taken back by the statement.

"He doesn't see it that way, probably doesn't think you do either."

"I need more. When did he tell you all this?" Kate couldn't believe he felt this way.

"While you were in surgery, he kept talking about how he pushed you into this. Put you in danger, and then Josh didn't help."

"What's Josh got to do with this?" Kate didn't think this story could get any crazier, but it did.

"He didn't tell you?"

"No."

"He came out when another surgeon got there to take over and went after Castle. Started yelling about how it was Castle's fault cause he pushed you to look into your mother's murder. Then he shoved him into a wall and all hell broke loose. Ryan and Esposito had to step in and hold everyone back, including Alexis, but then your dad got involved and shut things down real fast." Lanie explained.

"God, I could kill him." Kate took a deep breath and thought for a second. "Rick had nothing to do with this. Even if he never would have looked into it, we still would have ended up here. You still would have noticed the wound similarity with Jack Coonan and taken the case to Dr. Murray. He still would have confirmed it, it would have just taken longer since he wouldn't have already been familiar with case. We still would have gotten Dick Coonan. Even without Castle's money, Coonan gave it away himself. He knew it was my mother, and I would have picked up on it regardless. Castle didn't find anything we wouldn't have found when Jack Coonan was killed. And I really think I still would have had to shoot him, he would have just taken someone else hostage. Plus Raglan still would have gotten Lymphoma and came to see me reopening it then. Sure, at first I was pissed but Castle's had my back through all of this." Kate was full out ranting. She couldn't stand the fault of Castle taking blame for anything that happened with her mother's case.

"Whoa, honey slow down. I know that but he doesn't. He can't think straight when it comes to you. You haven't realized that by now?"

"I'm not ready. I can't tell him what I heard and that he shouldn't blame himself. I can't tell him I love him too."

"But you do?" Lanie wasn't sure if she should ask, but she wanted to know.

"Yeah I do" Kate answered with a slightly surprising confidence.

"What's holding you back?"

"I honestly don't think I can let him in, not fully. Not the way he deserves. It's like during the Lee Travis case, I couldn't tell him I was struggling that I was broken."

"We all would have been there for you, Kate. Especially him that's what friends are for. You don't have to do everything alone. " Lanie was trying to be sympathetic, but she desperately wanted to help her.

"I know and I'm trying to see it that way. No one else knows this ... but I'm still seeing Dr. Burke." Kate was unsure of herself, but she felt that Lanie was a good person to tell. Dr. Burke had encouraged her to share her feeling with someone other than Castle, someone she didn't fear would run away or feel she needed to watch what she said around. Despite, the logical side of brain telling her otherwise, she was still worried about talking Castle about real issues.

"The therapist?" Lanie questioned.

"Yeah" Kate whispered.

"That's amazing! It's a huge step." Lanie was genuinely happy.

"He's been really helpful. I'm almost ready to talk to Castle, but I just need to put my mom's case to rest. I just need to stop believing that people are just going to ..."

"Going to what?" Lanie asked even though she had a feeling what she was going to say.

Kate thought for a minute. She didn't want to answer, to admit her feelings out loud. She had never really talked about it with anyone outside of therapy. And even there, she barely did. But, she wanted to grow, to be more than who she is. So she took a deep breath and just said it. "Leave me"

Lanie pulled her into a hug."I can't imagine the kind of pain you've been through." She said rubbing a circle on Kate's back. After a long time, Lanie pulled back when she felt Kate start to move. "Thank you for telling me this I know it was difficult ." Lanie was completely sincere.

"Thanks for listening"

"Anytime. I'm always here whenever you need me." Lanie whipped the tears from her face and tried to smile.

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><p>"Hey sweetie, what are you up to today?" Rick asked his daughter.<p>

"I'm going to head over to Paige's to do some homework and applications."

"Ok, try to have some fun though too."

"We have fun." She defended

"Alexis physics isn't fun." Rick answered with a laugh.

"We do other things. What do you want me to do go to a crazy party?"

"Yeah that'll do."

"Well it's only noon so I'm going to need some time." Alexis offered.

Castle pulled his daughter into a hug. "You know what I mean. I just want you to enjoy this part of your life."

"I know, Dad. I'll see you later."

"Bye pumpkin"

Once Alexis had left, Castle picked up his phone and debated if he should call Beckett. He had been waiting to call cause he didn't want to wake her, but she had to up by now. It wasn't like her to sleep in, even though she was hurt. Rick thought she would have called him by now. Maybe he was just making too much of the events of the previous night. He thought that things were good between them, like really good. He wasn't going to believe that she was ready, but last night on the couch he felt like something had changed. She was letting him in, but maybe she wasn't. Maybe she was just exhausted and hurting. Rick couldn't deal with his uncertainty and decided to call her.

"Beckett" She answered and sent his heart rate through the roof. He couldn't believe just the sound of her voice could do that to him.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"A lot better, thanks." She answered.

"Good, glad to hear it."

"I'm going to head to the 12th in about an hour if you want to meet me there"

"I thought you took the day off"

"Nope, just the morning. I wanted to be there by now, but I slept in."

"That's good though you needed the sleep."

"Yeah, I guess. But I want to see what Ryan and Esposito have found. Plus I gotta check with hospital and see if we can interview Cranston yet. He should be fine to talk, it was just a graze."

"Ok I'll see you there." Castle responded. He thought she should take the whole day off, but this meant he got to see her, so he was happy.

"See you in a bit"

* * *

><p>"I'm not doing this one." Alexis said in a huff tossing a stack of papers on the floor.<p>

"Which?" Paige asked looking up from her work.

"The law firm. I need another letter of recommendation, and I've already asked all the teachers I like.

"Ask someone else."

"Like who?" Alexis had been trying to come up with someone to ask and had come up empty.

"I don't know, a family friend? Wait, how about the mayor. He would totally do it. Him and your dad are like best friends."

"No way, that'd be awkward. Besides, they don't even talk that much anymore. Well, except when that woman was murdered. My dad spends all his time with Beckett these days."

"You should ask her. She'd be perfect." Paige suggested

"Now that would truly be awkward, I would rather ask the mayor." Alexis laughed.

"Why? I know you don't really like her, but you get along okay right?"

"Yeah, and I don't not like her. It's just we don't really know each other. But, she was really nice last night. So maybe I could... no."

"Come on, Alexis. You should try."

"It's just, It's complicated."

"It's really not."

"Paige"

"From what you've told me, It's pretty clear she's not going anywhere. You should give her a chance."

"She's literally almost gotten my father killed." Alexis didn't want to have this conversation, but she needed Paige to understand.

"But it was his choice to be there, and at this point I don't think he's going to stop."

"True, but it's not only that. If you could see him after they fight or she pushes him away. He's a wreck for days, months even." Alexis just had to get Paige to see it the way she did. She normally understood.

"He loves her" Paige said bluntly.

"I know." Alexis admitted. "I just don't trust her, she's gonna break his heart. Again."

"He trusts her, that's gotta mean something."

"Yeah, well at first I really liked her. And I didn't mind my dad being gone all the time, and I guess I didn't realize he was actually chasing down killers. But now I miss him and worry all the time, especially since this summer. Just when I was getting over it the bank robbery happened."

"But she got them out, just like she said she would."

"I don't doubt that she's good at her job and would do anything to protect him, but she messes with his head ... and heart." Alexis felt defeated, she couldn't refute everything Paige was saying and didn't want to admit she might be right.

"Maybe you should talk to her about it or your dad. I'm here anytime you need to talk, you know that but I'm just good for venting. I can't change anything, one of them could."

"I tried to talk to him this summer, but he just loves her so much. He's happy, happier than I can ever remember him being. I can't hardly ask him to give that up for me."

"But you think she's going to hurt him?" Paige asked

"Yeah, I do." Alexis used to be so sure of that, but this time her voice waivered.

"You need to tell him that. This is your dad, we're talking about. I could never say anything like that to one of my parents. But you, you guys are so close."

"This is different."

"Well I still think you should ask her for the letter." Paige could tell Alexis was getting uncomfortable and decided to try to end the conversation.

"I guess I could, I really like this program"

"Do it, she'll say yes even if it's just for your dad."

"Okay, I'm going to do it." Alexis was still unsure, but Paige had a point, and she really liked the program. "I'll call her tomorrow."

* * *

><p><strong>So what'd you think? I wanted to keep everyone in character as much as was hard writing the scene between Kate and Lanie. I just felt it was right for Kate to talk her. I really want Kate to open up in a way that feels right for her. Even though, I had to go back and watch the beginning of Rise which I never do cause it makes me cry. Thoughts? Comments? Let me know. Next update should be Sunday night sometime.<strong>

**Thanks so much,**

**Meagan**


	3. Chapter 3

"Beckett" Kate answered as she was walking out of the precinct.

"Hey Kate, it's Alexis." The teenager responded nervously.

"Hi Alexis, what's up." Kate was a little confused. It wasn't like Alexis to call, especially considering Castle wasn't with her.

"Not too much, you?" She figured it would be better to start a conversation instead of flatting out asking her to write the letter.

"Nothing, just leaving work." Kate could tell the girl was unsure of herself.

"Oh, I figured you were home already. My dad got home like an hour ago. I can call back later if it's a bad time." Alexis let her nerves take over. She couldn't believe she was this uncomfortable. She had talked to Kate plenty of times, but asking her for something was different.

"No, no its fine. I stayed to finish some paper work." Kate was starting to worry. Alexis definitely sounded off.

"Oh, ok. Well, I was wondering if you could do me a favor? It's not a big deal and you can totally say no."

"Yeah, sure what's up."

"You remember the internships I was talking about the other night?"

"Yeah, of course." Kate said kindly. She wanted the girl to feel comfortable.

"Well, they require a bunch of letters of recommendation, and I was wondering if you would write me one." The teenager asked sheepishly.

"I'd love to, Alexis." Kate had no idea what she was going to write, but she definitely wanted to do it.

"Really that'd be great."

Kate could hear her voice loosen. She felt bad that Alexis had been so nervous to ask her. She decided this would be a good opportunity to help show the teenager that she cared. Kate didn't like that their relationship wasn't on the best terms.

"No problem. Which one is it for?"

"The law firm, Walsh, Berman, and McCartney." Alexis answered.

Kate almost dropped her phone when she heard her answer. She couldn't believe it, writing this letter would be harder than she thought. But at least Kate knew Alexis would get the internship. That firm wasn't always Walsh, Berman, and McCartney. Up until 13 years ago, it had been Walsh, Berman, and Beckett.

"When do you need it by?" Kate asked pushing her thoughts out of her head.

"Next Tuesday is the deadline."

"Ok, do you want to email me some info?" Kate figured she needed something to help her get started, and she knew Alexis probably had a lot of qualifications she didn't know about.

"Yeah sure. I'll send you my resume and the link about program." Alexis answered.

"That'd be great, do you need my email address?"

"I actually have it. My dad gave me all your info awhile ago just in case I ever needed to get a hold of you." Alexis said a little wearingly. She should have just let her give it to her.

"Oh ok. I'll give you a call when it's done, and we can meet to go over it. I have to admit I've never done this before, I want to make sure it's alright." Kate said with a little laugh.

"I'm sure it'll be great"

"Thanks"

"No thank you. Seriously, this means a lot. I know your super busy." Alexis really was appreciative.

"It's a not a problem at all." Kate was disappointed that the teen thought this was such a big deal. She would happily help her out.

"Ok well I'll talk later?"

"Yep I'll give you a call later this week, bye Alexis."

"Bye Kate."

The rest of the drive home, Kate was completely enthralled in her memories. She could almost see a young version of herself doing her homework at her mom's huge desk, pretending her spelling worksheets were big important papers. She didn't spend a lot of time at her office, but when her mom had to work late sometimes there wasn't another option. And Kate didn't mind it. She loved being there. In high school, her mom let her sit in on a trial. Kate couldn't believe her eyes. Her mom was so graceful yet commanding in court. She was completely in charge but undeniably respectful. The way she could tear apart the opposing argument but still make it seem like cared about her challenger baffled Kate.

When she got home, She headed into the kitchen to start to dinner. Kate stuck a pot of water on the stove and went to cupboard to get some macaroni. Tonight was not a night she felt like making anything that took any time or thought. Work had been hectic, and she was still a little off from the day before. It was all hands on deck as every team in the homicide department had an open case. Kate hated when that happened, not that she minded too much having to work the weekend, but it was a lot harder to get things done with everyone fighting over the resources. The lab was running slow and not everyone was as okay with working on a Sunday as she was. Kate was a little annoyed and fighting the memories Alexis had unknowingly brought up. It was not a great night.

When the food was done, Kate headed to living room and flipped the tv on as she ate. All was well until she noticed her journal sitting on the table. Dr. Burke had suggested she start writing down her feelings about how the day went every night. Kate had tried it, but writing really wasn't her thing. Something about putting her feelings on paper made it feel like it was out there for people to see, but she knew Dr. Burke would expect her to have something tomorrow night at her next appointment. Kate honestly wanted to make progress, so she grabbed the small book and started writing.

* * *

><p>"Thanks" Castle said to the barista as he picked up his and Beckett's coffee on the way to the precinct Monday morning. He knew Kate would be needing it about now, assuming she had been at work for hours and it was only 8:30. Castle knew she was disappointed when they talked to Cranston at the hospital and found out he wasn't their guy. He may have been involved in the drug ring, but he wasn't the killer.<p>

When he walked in to the bullpen, Beckett wasn't at her desk. He spotted her and the guys in Gates's office. He decided it would be best to not join them. Castle couldn't help but notice what was up on her computer, it was a word document. He wouldn't have thought twice about it until he spotted his name. Well it wasn't actually his name, it was Alexis's. Castle looked over his shoulder and saw Beckett had her back to him. He couldn't think of any reason Beckett would be writing about his daughter, so he just had to read it. What he read warmed his heart. It was unfinished, but the letter was great. Castle sat back down quickly not wanting Beckett to catch him. Alexis hadn't told him about it, which concerned him a little, but he was definitely happy she had asked her.

"Hey Castle." Beckett greeted him as she down at her desk and took a sip of coffee.

"What was that about?" He asked.

"Ugh, just Gates being Gates. She doesn't seem to care that we have only had the case for 3 days and are working with narcotics to shut down a major drug ring along with finding the killer." She sighed. Castle couldn't help but notice how quickly she closed the file on the computer. "She's just stressed with this many open cases." Beckett added.

"You're defending her, that's a first."

"Yeah, well I still don't particularly like her, but I think things have been improving." Kate shrugged.

"She went all last week without threatening to kick me out, so I'm happy." Castle laughed.

"Yo, we got something." Esposito interjected.

"What'd you find?" Beckett asked.

"Hank Wilson's alibi fell through. I just got off the phone with his boss, said he left work at 5 not 8."

"Let's go." Beckett said standing up.

* * *

><p>The arrest went smoothly. Surprisingly Wilson didn't put up a fight, Beckett figured he knew he was screwed when they showed up along with officers from narcotics and a search warrant. It was a relatively easy interrogation after she got the call that they had found heroin and a gun with matching caliber to the murder weapon in his apartment. Wilson confessed and gave up many of his buddies in exchange for a deal.<p>

"You want to go get some dinner?" Castle asked as Beckett took all the photos off the murder board.

"Sorry, I can't tonight." Beckett said apologetically.

"Oh ok." He was obviously disappointed.

"Yeah, I actually should get going. I'll clean the rest of this up tomorrow." Beckett said turning to walk to her desk to grab her things.

"You're leaving at actually leaving at 5 o'clock and putting things off till tomorrow?" Castle questioned.

"I have to be somewhere. "

"Where?"

"It's none of your business, Castle." She answered sharply. The truth was her therapy probably was his business considering how much they talked about him.

"You don't have a date, do you?" He asked shyly.

"No, not a date." She thought about messing with him a little but the look on his face told her it was a bad idea.

"Ok, good." Castle blurted out before he had a chance to think.

"Good?" She questioned.

"Ahh yeah, Monday's are terrible nights to go out" He said trying to cover his previous comment.

"Oh I see, good night Castle." Beckett laughed heading for the elevator.

* * *

><p>"Kate" Dr. Burke said gesturing for her to come into his office. She was happy he was ready for her, she hated sitting in the waiting room alone with just his secretary, but she was usually his last appointment for the day.<p>

"How was your week?" Dr. Burke asked they sat down.

"Long." She replied. "I had to work all weekend cause we had an open case, and I got a concussion on Friday night. "

"Did a suspect attack you?"

"Yeah we got into it pretty good." Beckett said unsure of where the doctor was going to take this conversation. She didn't want to talk about work. She wanted to talk about Castle.

"Did you go to the hospital?"

"No, it wasn't that bad. I went to Castle's for a while and then Lanie came and took me home. They didn't want me being alone." Kate responded.

"Seems like your friends had everything under control."

"Yeah, they did. " Kate said with a smile.

"I'm glad that you realize that."

"I'm definitely starting to."

"Let's take a look at your journal. Did you find it helpful?" He obviously wanted to know if she had wrote about that night.

"No, not really. Like I said before I'm not a big writer."

"You don't like to share your feelings." He said bluntly.

Damn, how did he always know exactly what she actually meant. "Well, I don't know about that. I'm just tired at the end of the day and don't feel like putting every detail of it down on paper." Kate tried to deflect.

"I think it would be good if we kept your journal completely private. I don't want to know what you write, don't even bring it to your sessions. Use it if you want or don't, but I think it will really help you. Just know that it is for your eyes only and you can write whatever you want."

"Ok, but I did write one thing last night I want to talk about." Kate said quietly.

"Would you like to read it?" Dr. Burke asked slightly surprised.

"Not really, I'll just summarize. It's kinda long. Castle and I cuddled on his couch Saturday night, and I wrote about how I felt in his arms. It's a poem, I guess." Kate felt like an idiot saying that, but it was the truth.

"How did you feel?"

"I was happy. He made me feel safe. It was nice having someone take care of me."

"From what you've told me it seems like he wants to take care you."

"Yeah, I think he does. Well he kinda told me he did." Kate said quietly.

"Do you want him to?" Dr. Burke asked.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>As soon as Kate got in the car, she knew what she wanted. She drove straight to Castle's apartment without allowing herself to think twice. This is what she wanted. She practically ran from the elevator to his door, but then paused. No, this was right. Kate took a deep breath and pressed the door bell. It was only a second before he opened the door.<p>

"Beckett. What are you doing here?" Castle asked surprised to see her.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah of course, come in."

"Hey Alexis." Kate greeted the girl who was doing homework or something at the kitchen table.

"Hey Kate."

"You want to go in my office?" Castle asked gesturing in that direction. He could tell Beckett was nervous about something and was suddenly a little afraid of the conversation they were about to have.

"Yeah ok."

There was an awkward moment of silence. "So what's up?" Castle asked.

"Earlier, did you really think I had a date?" Kate questioned not completely sure if she wanted to know the answer.

"Well yeah. Why not? You could have." Castle said quietly not making eye contact.

Beckett nodded and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. He couldn't believe how adorable she looked.

"I'm not dating, Castle." She replied in a slow voice.

"Oh okay." He was so unsure about this entire conversation. What was she getting at?

"I told you that I wasn't ready to have a real relationship, but I want you to know I have been working on it."

"Working on it?" Castle was confused by what she could possibly mean.

"I'm seeing a therapist, Rick. He has been helping me move on from my shooting and ... my mother's murder."

"Kate" He breathed. He wanted to get up and hug her, but he knew he couldn't.

"That's why I couldn't go to dinner. I had an appointment." She explained.

"I'm sorry I assumed it was a date. I was just confused why you wouldn't tell me where you were going."

"Well, I'm not exactly straight forward with you."

"It's ok, you have a lot going on right now."

"I don't want to use that as an excuse anymore. For a while it wasn't an excuse. It was the truth. But things have been turning around for me. Dr. Burke has helped me to see some things I never realized or never wanted to admit."

"Kate" He whispered reaching his hand over his desk to hold hers. She accepted, and he gave it a little squeeze.

"I'm not sure if I'm there yet, Rick. But I'm ready to try. I want to give this a shot. A real shot. The other night everything just felt so right, and it wasn't the first time. I can't promise anything, but I can say I want to be with you."

"I've wanted to be with you for years." Rick couldn't hide the huge smile that was covering his face. He had wanted this for so long.

"There's something else I need to tell you" she said shyly.

"Anything"

"I love you too"

"Too? You remember?" Confusion and hurt were bubbling up in his eyes.

"Let me explain. Yes, I heard you. I wasn't ready to tell you. I needed to work things out on my own."

"It's just, it's been months." His voice was filled with despair.

"I know, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. But I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to lose you. I couldn't say it back. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I couldn't admit that you meant everything to me. I was afraid, Rick. So I pushed you away, I made you leave before something else did. I couldn't deal with losing you, I guess I thought if you were gone by my own terms I could spare myself the hurt of you leaving in a way I couldn't control." Kate was crying and looking at the floor. She didn't even notice that he had gotten up and now stood next to her. Rick gently pulled up her up out of the chair and into his embrace. She melted into his strong body.

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered as he drew circles on her back.

"I'm sorry." She murmured between tears.

"Shh, it's okay. It's okay." Castle tried to comfort her.

"Are you mad?" Kate asked with a fear in her voice.

"No, I'm not mad. I just wish we could have had this talk sooner. I told you always, and I meant it. I want you understand that. I'm here for you, Kate. I meant it when I said I loved you. It wasn't just because you were dying in my arms. I meant it, I really meant it. I love you Kate."

"I love you too"

At that moment, they pulled back out of each other's arms and shared the most passionate kiss either of them had ever experienced.

* * *

><p>Thoughts? Comments? I love reviews!<p>

Thanks for reading,

Meagan


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everybody, First of all I would like to apologize for the wait. I know it is way later than I said it would be. I had a completely hectic week or so. It seems like there was an exam or paper for every class. I'm premed so my crazy professors tend to keep me pretty busy. Thankfully this week should be calmer and I should have time to write. Thanks so much for sticking with me and for all the follows and reviews. You guys are awesome.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle in any way, shape, or form. (Except in my dreams)

* * *

><p>They finally pulled apart only when their lungs were begging for oxygen. Rick and Kate were both breathing hard and just stared in each other's eyes. They were in disbelief of what was happening. This moment had been dreamed about by both of them for a very long time. It wasn't three seconds and their lips were locked again. There was nothing but passion between, nothing but heat. They were intertwined in each other's arms when there was a small knock on his office door.<p>

"Dad?" Alexis called out.

Rick gave Kate a small smirk and opened the door. They were always getting interrupted whether they were sharing just a glance or finally something more.

"Paula's here." Alexis said with a huff.

"What? Where is she?" Rick was so confused.

"She's on her way up. That was her on the phone."

"The phone?" He asked.

"You didn't hear it? I guess you didn't answer your cell, so she called the loft." Alexis didn't want to know what had been going on in there.

"Oh well we were talking about something important, but okay. Can you let her in? I'll be right there."

"Yeah, sure" She said and walked away.

Rick turned to Kate. "I'm sorry, it completely slipped my mind Paula was coming by."

"It's fine, you were preoccupied." She said with a smirk.

"Stay, please. This won't take long. I just need to finalize the dates and stops for my book tour." He said reaching for her hand.

"Book tour?" Kate questioned.

"Yeah, I was going to tell you tomorrow actually. Black Pawn set up this big thing since Heat Wave hits theaters next month, and I am making the title announcement for the fourth book. It won't be out till September, but with movie we are making a push for the whole series." He explained.

"How long?"

"I leave in a week and will be gone for two." Now Castle hated the idea of this tour even more than before.

"Oh well sounds fun." Kate said quietly.

"Yeah not really... you should come with me." He said breaking into a smile.

"What?"

"Seriously come." He said grabbing her other hand.

"Well I have to talk to Gates." Kate wasn't sure if they were ready for this. She wanted to go, but this relationship was so new. Like minutes new.

"I know you have a ton of days off banked." He tried to persuade her.

"I did. I kinda used quite a few with the whole three months off thing." Kate added.

"I know they didn't count that as your days." He said shaking his head. "But think about it? I gotta go deal with Paula. We'll talk about it later."

"I will. I'm gonna hang in here if that's okay."

"You don't have to hide in my office." He chuckled.

"I know. I just need a minute."

"Okay." He pulled her in for a small kiss. However, they were quickly learning there was no such thing as a small kiss for the two of them. At least not now. Finally, they broke away, and he walked out with a devilish look on his face that left Kate wanting more.

"Sorry about that" Rick said as he approached his agent who was sitting on the couch.

"You look happy." Paula answered.

"I am."

"Well try to keep that happiness. That adorable smile sells books." She lightly tapped his cheek.

"Yeah, Yeah. Do you have the tour mapped out?" Castle did not have any patience for her right now.

"It's all done. Now I know you don't want to go, but this is a great publicity opportunity, and you need that. We didn't do one for Heat Rises, and I think it hurt the opening sales. We gotta get your name back out there."

"Paula, Heat Rises' opening sales were amazing. I don't know what you're talking about."

"There's always room for improvement. This movie is the perfect opportunity. The trailer is about to start running on television. Nikki Heat will soon be a household name. This is our chance to make this series huge. Bigger than Derrick."

"I know and I want that. I want Nikki Heat to be the character I'm known for."

"Then you have to do this tour. For real, Rick. I need some effort. You used love this stuff."

"This summer was hard. That's why I only did local signings. I didn't want to leave town, but I will now. I'll get the job done."

"Good, it's only two weeks. And you have a great schedule." She said with a smile.

* * *

><p>Kate looked around Castle's office, she knew she should go out there and stop hiding. There's was just too much on her mind. She was happy, like crazy happy. They still needed to discuss it, but they were together. Finally. To be honest, there was a point when she never thought this was going to happen. After all they had been through, all the ups and downs, it was probably a miracle. From freezers to bombs through many bullets and her own stupidity, they had made it. That's what told Kate she should stay home. If they went too fast, it would mess things up. She loved him and he loved her, but she knew her own ability to screw up relationships. But Castle was right, and Paula hadn't stayed long. She was gone before Kate even realized it.<p>

Rick came back in his office and found her sitting behind his desk. He couldn't help but realize how adorable she looked, so deep in thought.

"Hey." He said softly breaking her trance.

"Hey." She said standing walking to him. He opened his arms and pulled her in.

"Is this really happening?" He whispered into hair.

"Yeah, it's happening" Kate said pulling back to kiss him softly. "I can't go on tour with you." She added tenderly when they broke apart.

"Why?" He asked, eyes filled with confusion.

"I love you, Rick. I've only ever said that to one other guy, and I've never meant it. Never like this. I don't want to mess this up. Going away with you for two weeks would be amazing, but I think it's too much too fast. I know it's impossible, for us to move any slower than we do now. I mean it took four years for us to get here, but I want do this right."

"We can move as slow as you like, Kate. I don't want to lose you. But trust me, you can't screw this up. I love you. I'm going to be here whenever you need me and when you need space, that's fine too. Just don't shut me out."

"I'm not, I promise. I'm going to let you in. There's so much I want you to know, but it's hard for me."

"I know, And I appreciate you trying so much." He pulled her back into his arms, and she leaned into him.

* * *

><p>Not much changed at the precinct. They agreed to keep things to themselves for a while. It wasn't that Kate didn't want to tell everyone, and God knows Rick wanted to shout it from the roof tops, but it seemed right to give them some time to adjust. Kate wasn't sure how their dynamic was going to change, if at all and taking it slow felt like the best plan. They went out to dinner twice, but wasn't much time since they caught a new case that kept them at the precinct late every night. It was still time spent together, even if it was working. There was only one crown vic make-out session, but most times his hand had found a new place on her thigh while she was driving. It all seemed so right. Kate planned on telling everyone when he got back. She hated that he was leaving.<p>

* * *

><p>Alexis walked into the school nurse's office shyly. Even though she was a senior, she had only been in there a few times. It was dumb to be nervous; all her friends stopped in to miss class all time, but she never did.<p>

"I'm not feeling too great, I was wondering if I could call my dad to go home."

"Sure, Alexis. What's wrong?" Mrs. Holland replied kindly. It was a rather small school and she knew everyone.

"I just haven't felt good all day, my stomach's upset."

"There's a bug going around, and you look tired. An afternoon off will do you some good. What's his number?"

"616-555-4579" Alexis said.

The nurse dialed and then waited for an answer.

"You may have to call my grandmother, He's in Chicago." Alexis added as they waited.

"Castle" He answered.

"Hi, Mr. Castle. This is Nurse Holland at Marlowe Prep."

"Is everything okay?" He asked. The school never called him.

"Yes, Alexis is just feeling a little under the weather. I need your permission to send her home."

"Yeah not a problem, but you're sure she's okay. She hates to miss school." Rick got up and walked away from the table signaling for the next fan to give him one minute.

"Would you like to talk to her?" She asked kindly.

"Please"

"Hey Dad" Alexis said when she got the phone.

"Hey sweetie, you okay?"

"Yeah, my stomach has been hurting all day, and I don't have any important classes left so I just wanted to go home." Alexis explained.

"Okay, I'll call Gram. See where she's at and have her meet you at the loft. But, you call me if you need anything. Seriously."

"I will, love you."

"Love you too, pumpkin."

Castle ended the call and called his mother. There was no answer so he left her voicemail asking her to head home as soon as she could. He returned to his signing but took his phone off vibrate and tossed it in his jacket pocket. When it was time for his break, he tried Martha again, but there still was no answer. He called Alexis and even though she sounded terrible she said she was fine. Rick just wasn't convinced, and since his mother was MIA, he decided it was time to call in a different reinforcement.

"Beckett" She answered.

"What's up?" Castle asked.

"Nothing really, paperwork. We haven't gotten a new case yet." She wouldn't admit it, but Kate was really excited he called. It only had been two days, and she missed him terribly.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Will you run over to my place and check on Alexis. She went home sick from school, and my mother apparently lost her phone. She hasn't picked up for almost 3 hours. I would worry, but she's probably teaching some crazy acting technique or something. But Alexis does have me concerned, I can tell she's not okay." Castle explained.

"Yeah, let her know I'll be right over" Kate wasn't sure about this, her and Alexis really weren't close, and she figured the teen probably didn't want her to come. However, Rick sounded worried, and she wanted him to know that she cared. It would be fine; she would just stop for minute and check it out.

"Thanks so much"

She could practically hear the relief and was glad she didn't hesitate in her response."It's no problem, Rick."

"She's probably fine, but I just hate not being there." He sighed.

"I'll take care of her."

"Thanks, just make sure she's not lying. Even when she was little, she hated admitting she was sick."

"I will, bye Rick"

"Bye."

* * *

><p>Kate knocked on the door lightly, and a few seconds later Alexis appeared. Her hair was in a messy pony tail, and she had pajamas on.<p>

"Hey, I'm really fine you didn't have to come." Alexis said as soon as soon as she answered the door.

"It's no problem, I brought you some soup." Kate responded with a smile.

"Thanks, but I honestly don't think I can eat right now." The girl admitted stepping back to allow Beckett in.

"That's fine. I can heat it back up later. How are you feeling?"

"Okay, but my stomach's killing me, nothing else though." Alexis knew she should just tell her what was wrong since her father had definitely sent her to get a full report.

"Fever? You look pretty flushed." Kate asked slightly concerned.

"Yeah, I think. But I took some Advil when I got home."

Kate gently reached out and felt her forehead. "Definitely, How long ago was that?"

"I don't know it was like 1 o'clock." Alexis had no idea what time it was now.

Kate looked down at her watch. It was almost 5."You better take some more. Where is it? I'll grab it."

"Top cabinet on the right." Alexis said turning to the kitchen, but wincing in pain at the motion.

"You're sure you're okay?" Kate asked with a small yet concerned smile.

"Yeah, I just need to lie down."

Kate nodded and headed to the kitchen. Before she could get it, Alexis got up and ran into the bathroom. After about 15 minutes, Beckett knocked on the door. "Alexis?"

"Yeah." She answered weakly.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know." Alexis answered quietly after a long pause.

"Can I come in?" Kate asked immediately. Alexis sounded scared, and Beckett knew she wasn't the type to admit she was hurting. Something was definitely wrong.

"Yeah." Her voice was nearly a whisper.

As Kate opened the bathroom door, she heard the front door open. Relief washed over her as she realized Martha must be home. Alexis was sitting on the edge of the tub and looked absolutely horrible.

"Hello." Martha called out.

"Bathroom." Kate answered as she wet a cold wash cloth and handed it to Alexis. Her skin was ghost white and her eyes were glassy like she was going to cry.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Martha asked instantly, concern all over her face.

"My stomach hurts really bad, and I can't stop throwing up." She looked so small and scared.

"I'll go get you a glass of water." Kate said giving them a second. When she came back Martha had found a thermometer, and it was sticking out of the Alexis's mouth. She took it out when it beeped.

"102.4"

"Oh, sweetheart. Have you taken anything?" Martha asked.

"It's been awhile." She said taking a small drink. Kate didn't have a chance to give her the other Advil, before she threw up.

"Let's get you to bed. I'll get you something and put that towel on your forehead." Martha said gently. She helped the teen get up, but she gasped in pain. Alexis immediately sat back down, holding her side.

Kate noticed immediately and kneeled down beside her. "Where's it hurt?" She asked worried.

"Everywhere, but anytime I move it feels like stabbing me in the side" Alexis said tears starting to fall.

"You're right side?" She figured she should be fairly certain before she made her go to the hospital.

"Yeah, but it's not appendicitis. The pain's not that bad." Alexis responded a little too quickly. She was smart and knew enough to know exactly what Kate was thinking.

"I'm sorry, but I really think it might be. The signs are all there. We need to take you the hospital." Kate knew she was scared. Her voice was calm and comforting as she put her hand on the girl's shoulder.

Alexis looked up at Martha who just nodded. Everyone knew Kate was right.

"Okay." Alexis breathed, defeated.

"I'll call your father." Martha turned to Kate who had stood up. "Do you think we need to call an ambulance?"

Alexis looked even more terrified at that idea. "No, I have my car. I'll get us there quick." Beckett said giving Alexis a small smile.

"Gram, can you go get me a clean t-shirt and some socks? Kate can call Dad." Alexis spoke up.

"Sure, I'll be right back."

"If she calls him, she'll completely freak him out. I want him to come home, but there's no sense worrying him in the time it takes to get here." Alexis said when Martha left.

Kate gave her a small smile, and called Rick.

"How is she?" He asked without even saying hello.

"She's okay, but Rick I think she has appendicitis. You're mom and I are gonna take her to the hospital."

"That's not okay, Kate!" He said quickly.

"She has a fever and some pretty bad pain. I just think we should be safe and they agree. Everything is gonna be fine. I could be completely wrong."

"I'm coming home. I'm going to the airport now. This tour was a terrible idea." He sounded panicked.

"Castle, there's no way you could have known this was going to happen. She's going to be fine. Your mom and I will take care of things until you can get here."

"Can I talk to Alexis?" He asked.

"Yeah, of course." She said and handed her the phone.

"Dad" Alexis said trying to sound like she was completely fine.

"Hey, pumpkin. I'm on my way as soon as I can get a plane. I'm so sorry I'm not there."

"It's okay, I'm okay."

"Call me as soon as you see a doctor. If they make you wait too long in the ER have Kate use her badge and angry cop voice.

Alexis laughed a little at that, but it hurt. "Love you, Dad"

"Love you too, honey, so much."

They hung up and Kate helped her stand.

* * *

><p>Thoughts? I really felt like it was true to character to have Kate stay home from the tour. I wanted her to go, but I think she would want to start things more cautiously. Sorry for the small cliff hanger, but the next part is going to be too long to add in this chapter. I should have it out by Wednesday or Thursday, for real this time :). Also I wanted to ask your opinion, keep the chapters this length and add about once a week or do shorter chapters more often? Let me know. Thanks for reading. I love reviews<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

I actually got this done on time :) Thanks to everyone who follows and favorites. And a huge thanks to ilive4jeans, lkwill39, and docvap for reviewing the last chapter. I love hearing your guys' thoughts.

And even though I forgot to in this in every chapter, I do not own anything. Castle belongs to ABC, Andrew Marlowe, and his genius team. Who even though I may not be too happy with after Monday night, I still trust them.

* * *

><p>Rick was frantic as he went to go find Paula. He needed to get home. Now.<p>

"I need to get back to New York!" He nearly yelled as soon as he found her.

"What's going on?" She asked extremely confused.

"Alexis is sick, like really sick. My mother and Kate are taking her to the hospital."

"What happened?"

"I don't really know, they think she has appendicitis."

"She'll be fine, calm down. I'm going to go tell the manager we have to cut it short. You were supposed to be done in 20 minutes anyway. Get on that fancy phone of yours and find a ticket back." Paula might be kinda of a pain in the ass sometimes, but she knew Castle. He loved his daughter more than anything. There was no point in trying to stop him, so it was best just to help.

30 minutes later Rick was at the airport picking up his ticket. He had got lucky, and there was actually a flight to New York heading out that night. It didn't leave for 3 hours, but it was the best he could hope for. It was a good 20 minute ride back to the hotel, but it was rush hour, so traffic was a zoo. Rick suddenly got nervous that he didn't have as much time as he thought he did and wondered if he should have just went to the airport. It would probably take a 45 minutes to an hour just to get to the hotel. He was desperately trying to calculate how much time he would need when his phone startled him.

"Castle"

"Hey, she just saw the doctor. Kate was right. It's appendicitis." Martha told her son.

"So she's gonna need surgery then?"

"Yeah, they want to do it right away. Her appendix is inflamed, but hasn't ruptured yet. They want to get it out before it does to prevent a lot of infection."

"Yeah, yeah okay. That makes sense. You talked to the surgeon? I don't want some 007 intern touching my baby girl." Rick was so angry he wasn't there.

"Yes of course, and Kate asked all kinds of questions. The surgeon is an attending physician about your age. He was very kind and explained everything. It is going to be done laparoscopically, very non-invasive. It will only take about an hour."

"Is he around I want to talk to him? And Alexis, I need to talk to Alexis."

"I know, Richard. She's right here, and the doctor said he would be right back." Martha wasn't exactly calm herself, but she knew he had to be a wreck.

"Dad." Alexis's voice was nearly a whisper. As adult as she is, she wanted her Daddy. She was scared and just wanted him to be there.

"Hey pumpkin, How you feeling?"

"Better, they gave me something for pain. Don't worry it's not a big deal."

"I know, but it's okay to be scared."

At that Alexis almost let tears fall, but she didn't want to break down. Everything was going to be fine. There was no reason to be upset. "When are you coming?" She asked hoping against logic that it would before the surgery.

"I got a flight out at 9:30, and I'm coming straight there, as soon as I can."

"I really wish you were here." Alexis's facade was slipping.

"I do too, I really really do, but you're in great hands. Gram said the doctor is very good, and it's a very small surgery. He's done a million of them."

"Kate interrogated him." She said with a little laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I basically know his entire life history. From where he went to med school to his 3 kids' names. But don't worry they're not babies, so they shouldn't be any added sleep deprivation." It actually had been really entertaining to watch.

"She asked him that?" A huge smile crossed his face.

"And so much more, but wait ... he's back. I think it's time." Her voice dropped, but gained confidence right back.

"Okay, I love you Alexis."

"I love you too." She was feeling better and was ready to get this over with. Just talking to her dad had helped a lot.

"Can you put the doctor on phone for just a minute?" Rick asked. He just wanted to make sure everything was in order and ask a few questions himself.

"Yeah"

* * *

><p>About 5 minutes after they took Alexis, Kate's cell phone rang.<p>

"Hello." It was weird not answering Beckett, but she figured with him she should try to lay off on that. Considering that her heart fluttered every time he called her Kate.

"Hey, it's me." Rick was jittery and anxious.

"They just started. I'm in the cafeteria getting your mom and I some coffee."

"She's not with you?" That was a good thing, it gave him a chance to talk without worry about his mother overhearing everything. Not that he should really care.

"No she went to bathroom to fix her makeup. She got a little teary, Alexis did really well though."

"Yeah, she's a trooper. I heard you grilled the surgeon." He chuckled.

"I didn't ask anything you wouldn't have."

"I know, but thank you."

"Always."

"I love you." It felt so natural. He was definitely getting used to be able to say that whenever he wanted to.

"I love you too, Rick." For her it was slightly different. It felt right, so right, but she didn't have that cool confidence yet. Part of her still expected him to reject it.

"I'm actually happy you decided not to come with me. I know my mother could have handled things, but I just feel better knowing you're there."

"I'm happy I could be here." Kate wasn't sure at first that Alexis would want her around, but it seemed like their relationship was improving. She had told Kate to stay when the doctor came in, and she tried to step out. She was okay with her hearing the answers to seemingly personal questions. Maybe things were going to be just fine.

"Call me as soon as they're done?"

"I will." She said.

When they hung up, Rick knew he couldn't wait any longer. He decided to wait until he had some definite answers before he made the call. He knew Meredith was going to be dramatic and only make him think of worst case scenarios and worry more, but he had to do it. She's her mother and needed to know. He was being selfish but just wasn't in the mood to deal with her games.

Kate grabbed the coffees and headed back to the elevator. When she got to the waiting room, Martha was already there. She handed her the coffee.

"Thank you, darling."

"No problem."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Both absorbed in their own thoughts. Kate could tell Martha was fighting her emotions.

"She's going to fine. It's a simple surgery. She'll be back on her feet in no time." Kate said with a reassuring smile.

"I know... I just hate that Richard's not here." Martha didn't like to deal with serious issues. She preferred to be lively and carefree. Maybe too much, but when the situation warranted it she was as serious as any of them.

"He's on his way."

"Yes, he'll be here soon." Martha said, but Kate was just as anxious to see him. "This might be out of line, but may I ask you something?" Martha could tell something had changed with Richard, and the way Kate had been acting something was definitely up.

Kate had a pretty good feeling what she wanted to know. "Sure"

"What's going on between you and my son?"

"Um well, I should probably let him explain." Kate had no idea what to say. She couldn't lie to her future mother-in- law. Mother-in-law? Crap, she should not be thinking this way.

"Explain?" Martha was not going to let her off easy.

Kate took a deep breath and decided she didn't have a choice. "We're together, have been for about a week. I wanted to keep it just between us for a little while. We were going to tell everyone when he got back. He didn't want to hide it."

"And you did?"

"Not from you and Alexis, just at work. I was worried things would change, and I thought we could use some time without finding out who won the poll and all the I told you so's. I don't want to mess this up."

"I see, well I'm happy for you two. Not to join in the crowd, but it's about time." She chuckled.

"Yeah, it is." Kate let the smile light up her face. She had always liked Martha.

They sat in a comfortable silence just waiting. Kate was happy Martha knew about them. She wondered if Rick would be upset that she had told her. He had talked about them doing it together. But what choice did she have? He would understand. Right? She couldn't possibly of lost him already?

The doctor came out and said that everything went perfectly. There were no complications, and they were taking her to recovery. Alexis would only need to stay 2 nights, and she could go back to school in a week or so.

"I better call Richard" Martha said. Kate just nodded and smiled.

* * *

><p>There was only one visitor allowed in recovery at a time, so Kate was sitting alone in the waiting room. She decided she would go pick Rick up at the airport. It would be much faster than him trying to get a cab, or she could wait for his bags, and he could leave right away. Either way it sounded like a good idea. Kate got up and popped her head in to tell them she was leaving. Alexis looked good, considering she had just woken up about a half an hour ago.<p>

"Hey, how you feeling?." Kate whispered only half in the room.

"I'm good, tired, but good" Alexis said.

"I'm gonna run and pick up your dad. He should be landing soon."

"Ok thanks... for everything"

"It's no problem at all. I'm glad I could help." Kate smiled.

* * *

><p>Kate checked the board at the airport, and it said Rick's flight was running on schedule. She went to stand in the lobby by the gate to wait. It was about 20 minutes, and the terminal filled with commotion. She stepped up so hopefully he would see her in the crowd.<p>

"Rick" She yelled as soon as she saw him. He didn't seem to paying attention to anything around him. He looked terrible, she hadn't seen him this tense in a long time.

"Kate, What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to pick you up, what else would I be doing at the airport?"

"I got my mom's voice-mail. Everything went well?" He looked panicky.

"Yeah, Alexis did great. I talked to her a little before I left."

"Thank God" He sighed. "Come here." Rick pulled her in and wrapped his arms around her. After a long minute they pulled apart she gave him a small kiss.

"Let's go." Kate smiled. They headed over to baggage claim."Do you want to go, I'll wait?" She offered. He couldn't stand still. She knew how anxious he was to get to the hospital.

"No, it's fine. I don't know why this thing is so slow."

About 5 minutes later they had found all his stuff and were headed out.

"Your mom knows about us." Kate told him in the car.

"How?"

"I told her. She asked, and I didn't want to lie."

"Of course not. We were going to tell her anyways. It's not a big deal."

"I was worried you'd be mad."

"No way, why would I be upset?" He questioned.

"I don't know, she's your mom. It's your place to tell her." Kate didn't even attempt to look at him, her eyes focused only on the road.

"Kate, I don't want things to be like that. This relationship is ours not just mine. You have a right to tell whoever you want. So what she's my mom, I'm sure she'd be all over my business anyway. Yeah, I don't want personal details going around. But I know you're not that kind of person. It's more like the other way around."

Kate just smiled and nodded. Thing were so easy with him. He was so understanding. She had no idea what she had done to deserve a man like him. Kate would openly admit she was not good at relationships. Very few guys had ever broken her heart. She didn't let them close enough. Investing in relationships was just not how she lived. Till now.

"Do you know what room she's in?" He asked as they walked into the hospital.

"Nope, she was still in recovery when I left, but they should have moved her by now."

Rick reached in his pocket and grabbed his phone. He talked to Martha and found out she was in room 1408.

"Dad!" Alexis cried out as they walked in.

He practically ran the short distance to her bed and gently hugged her.

"How you feeling? God am I glad to see you."

"I'm okay. But I missed you."

"I missed you too. No more book tours."

"Dad..."

"Well, no more of this of one." He clarified. They both knew in all reality, he would have to do more tours in the future. And she was going away to college in a few months anyway.

Kate took a seat next to Martha. She was perfectly content to just watch. It was moments like these that showed her how wrong the press and public were about Rick. Despite the way he was perceived, he was a good man. He was her man, and she knew should could trust him with anything, everything.

* * *

><p>Comments? Thoughts? I'd love to hear them. I'm going to start responding to the reviews from now on, so give me something say lol. Caskett fun and fluff to come! Next chapter should be up in a about a week.<p>

Thanks for reading,

Meagan


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry about the super long wait. I'm not giving up on this. I promise. I have just been crazy busy lately. School is a nightmare, and I have no time. For everyone who has stuck with me and all new readers THANKS SO MUCH. Spoilers for end of _Heat Rises _in this chapter. Read the book, it's great :)

* * *

><p>"Hey, what're you doing here?" Kate said when Rick walked in the precinct.<p>

"Alexis kicked me out, apparently after a week I'm annoying" He shrugged.

"I know how she feels."

"Hey"

"I don't mean you... well yes I do" She laughed. "But I was talking about this summer at my dad's cabin, he drove me crazy."

"Oh..." The grin was completely off his face.

"Want the details?" She said pointing to the murder board in an attempt to change the subject.

"Yeah" They both got up to stand in front of the large mostly blank white board.

"Not much to tell." Beckett sighed. "Tom Emerson, 37. Lived in Soho, married, 2 kids in middle school. He was a financial consultant. Had a pretty good life, then someone gives him two shots to the back in a parking garage. Lanie puts time of death between 11pm and 2am last night. He wasn't found till this morning. Wife said he left 3 days ago and was supposed to be out of town on business till Monday, but apparently he wasn't."

"Was there actually a trip?" Castle asked.

"Not that we can tell, his boss said he took the week off to go on vacation with his family. No plane or bus tickets booked in his name or with his credit cards."

"Any idea what he was doing for three days?"

"Nope, Ryan and Esposito went to pick up a co-worker he had words with right before he supposedly left." Beckett explained

"That could be something"

"Hopefully, they should be back soon."

* * *

><p>"Do you know why you're here, Mr. Cooper?" Beckett asked.<p>

"Not a clue"

"You had an argument with Tom Emerson before he left for vacation."

"So..." The man seemed pretty clueless.

"So you fought and now he's dead." She stated matter-of-factly. Castle loved the way she dropped lines like that in interrogations.

"He's dead?" Cooper didn't seem to believe her.

"He was murdered last night"

"Murdered? His poor family... but what was he doing in New York. He was supposed to be in North Carolina."

"That's what we're hoping you could tell us."

"I have no idea." Cooper said his voice shaking.

"What'd you fight about?" Beckett asked.

"His trip. I was mad he got the time off and on such short notice. I was told to cover his accounts for the week the day before he left. I was pissed I had to do all his work especially because no one ever gets time off."

"It's unusual for people to go on vacations?" Castle spoke up for the first time.

"Kinda, it's hard to get someone to pick up your work while you're gone. You have to get someone to cover you."

"But you didn't want to. Why'd you do Tom's share?" Beckett questioned.

"Boss said I had to. That's why Tom and I fought. I'm tired of him getting special treatment. He kept getting all the easy clients, the ones that didn't call and complain if the data didn't work out the way they wanted."

"Did he have any not so easy clients? No anybody that may have threatened him?" It seemed like Cooper wasn't their guy, but Beckett hoped to get something out of this interview.

"With the way the economy is today , he probably had some unhappy clients." Castle added.

"Not that I knew of."

"Okay. Thank You, Mr. Cooper. You're free to go." Beckett said as she stood up.

* * *

><p>The couple met Ryan and Esposito outside of the observation room.<p>

"Did the boss mention they were friends when you talked to him?" Castle asked bummed that he had missed that initial interview.

"No, he was nice but didn't say anything about anymore than a professional relationship." Beckett offered.

"Think we should check it out?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, we'll go to talk to him again. Can you guys go over Emerson's phone and financials more closely? See if we missed anything."

"No problem." Esposito nodded and they headed off to their desks.

The boss was nowhere to be found. His secretary said Martin Rennison left the office right after the detectives had been there that morning, and he wasn't home. Castle and Beckett weren't back to the precinct yet when Esposito called.

"Beckett"

"Hey, we got a problem." Esposito said.

"Yeah, Rennison made a run for it." Beckett answered running her fingers through her hair as they sat at a red light.

"That's not the problem, I know where he is. He's dead"

"Got an address? We'll meet you there."

* * *

><p>"We are never going to go on an actual date, are we?" Rick laughed as the he spread the pizza boxes out on the break room table. The crime scene hadn't told them much. Rennison had been shot. No fibers or DNA at the scene or on the body. Ryan and Esposito were still finishing up the canvass, and Beckett and Castle decided to order food since the night wasn't nearly over.<p>

"Eventually... I really do want to. You know?" Kate said with a small smile.

"I know. I just don't understand why people can't stop killing each other for one night so I can have time with my girlfriend." Rick walked over and wrapped his arms around her, but was shocked when she pulled away.

"The boys are back." She said quickly looking through the window Rick was turned away from.

"We really should tell them." He sighed.

"Tonight?" Beckett questioned. Rick couldn't hide his grin. He just wanted everyone in their lives to know, not that he was excepting PDA at work, but sneaking around sucked. Now the only people that knew were his mother and Lanie. Kate couldn't help but tell her.

"What's tonight?" Ryan asked as they walked in.

"Oh um there's something you guys should know" Beckett said suddenly unsure of her decision to do this.

"Oookay" Esposito replied as they all sat down. The boys were really clueless why she looked so nervous. It was not a look they saw often.

"Castle and I... we're in a relationship."

"That's it! You look like someone killed your puppy or something" Espo laughed.

"Congratulations guys" Ryan said to get Beckett to stop glaring at them.

"You're not surprised? Even a little?" Castle asked almost disappointed.

"Bro, we've known for years" Espo smiled. He was genuinely happy for them. Ryan was too. Sure they were going to tease them about it later, but now wasn't the time.

"We've only been together 3 weeks, and he wasn't even here most of that time!" Beckett defended.

"You tell yourselves that. We're detectives" Ryan said gesturing between Esposito and himself. "We see the truth better than you guys do apparently."

"Funny, guys. Really. Can we just eat and get to work, so we can go home sometime tonight? What'd you find on the canvas?" Beckett asked and they went back to business.

About an hour after they had finished eating, there was still no solid leads. Nothing about this one wasn't adding up. Castle had just excused himself to call Alexis.

"How's she doing?" Kate asked when he came back around the corner to her desk.

"Good, ready to get back to school tomorrow." He said with a smile.

"Tomorrow? That was quick."

"Yeah, she hates sitting at home, and I can practically see her stress levels rising about all the work she missing. The doctor said she only had to wait a week so she's going. I tried to convince her it was dumb to go on Friday just wait till Monday, but she wants to go for one day to get everything."

"Makes sense" Beckett smiled.

"We need to tell her soon."

"Whenever you're ready." Kate truly meant that. She was starting to want it out more than him. She didn't want it on page 6, of course, but telling people made it feel more real. Their friends and family needed to know.

"Tomorrow night? Come over for dinner?" He suggested.

"Okay"

It had been a whole day of running through promising leads that turned into nothing. It was a depressing thought on a Friday night. The team really wanted to get this one closed so they could take the weekend off, but whatever Emerson and Rennison were into was big. It was going to take some time to sort through everything. It was almost 6:30, and they weren't going to get any further tonight, so Beckett decided to call it a night.

"You ready?" Kate asked as she shut her computer down.

"Yeah, let's go." Rick said smiling.

* * *

><p>"You're nervous?" Rick laughed in the elevator on the way up to his loft.<p>

"I'm not" Kate said shaking her head, but he clearly didn't believe her. Rick squeezed her hand before letting go to get his keys out. He opened the door and led her in.

"Kate, I was going to call you tonight. I got an interview for the internship!" Alexis called out when she saw them.

"That's awesome. You're going to do so well." Kate said a little surprised as the teen pulled her in for a hug.

"Thank you so much. That letter was perfect."

"It was no problem, really. You deserve it"

"Which one? " Rick asked jumping in.

"Walsh, Berman, and McCartney. It's a big program, I really didn't think I'd hear from them" Alexis proudly answered.

He turned to look at Kate. Rick recognized that name and knew actually where he heard it before. Kate just smiled at him.

"I'm so proud of you, honey. You are going to rock that interview." He said pulling his daughter in gently for a side hug.

"Thanks, Dad."

"Well I think this a perfect time for more good news. Let's sit." He said gesturing towards the couch. "Sweetheart, Kate and I have something to tell you. We're together. I know it took us four years and this doesn't really change much, but we're a couple."

Alexis just stared at them without saying anything. She knew this was going to happen eventually, but she was hoping not quite this soon.

"Alexis?" Rick said tentatively.

"Uh, yeah. That's great, but I'm tired. It was kinda long day I'm gonna go bed." She blurted out not even caring it was only like 7 o'clock. She needed an escape.

"Okay" Rick was surprised and wanted to know what she thinking, but just let her go.

"She's upset." Kate said bluntly once Alexis was upstairs.

"I think a little, I'll give her some time and go talk to her about it." Rick reached over grabbed Kate's hand.

"I thought we made some progress recently. I knew she didn't really like me that much, but I really thought things were coming around, even before she got sick. She asked me to write her a letter of recommendation, and I know she didn't just do it because it was my mom's firm and thought she'd get in. I'm surprised you recognized it, actually. I thought she would be okay with us, maybe not happy but okay at least."

"She is." He said quickly.

"Rick, she practically ran upstairs as soon as you told her."

"She's just surprised." He gave her hand a little squeeze.

"None of this is surprising and you know it. Everyone in our lives knew this was going to happen."

"It's going to be fine. I'm going to talk to her." Rick tried to assure Kate.

"And what if it isn't? What if she isn't okay with us?" Kate was genuinely afraid.

"It will be. It might take her a little time, but she really does like you, Kate. I haven't talked to her about this a whole lot. I know after this summer, she was worried that I was going to get hurt shadowing you, but we never discussed it much. I thought we came to understanding about our relationship. I'm pretty sure she knows how I feel about you. It's just new right now. And you know how much stress she is under. She's so busy with college stuff, and now with another internship added in. It's all going to be fine, we just need to talk about it."

"Okay" Kate said unsure of herself. Rick reached around and pulled her into his arms. She happily accepted and pulled him closer. "I should go, you need to work this out." Kate whispered.

He released her and they stood up. Yes, Rick wanted her to stay, but he knew Alexis hadn't really gone to sleep and was probably waiting for him.

"Call me?" Kate asked as they stood in door way.

"I will." Rick leaned in and gave her a kiss. They could definitely get into this new form of saying good bye.

He shut the door and took a deep breath looking up at the stairs.

"Come in." Alexis responded to the knock on her door.

"Hey"

"Hi" Her voice was weak.

"You wanna tell me what you're thinking?"

"About what?" She didn't really feel like talking about this and really was tired. Her first day back at school had been overwhelming. She missed a ton even with the stuff she already did.

"Kate and I" He said giving her a look.

"What's there to talk about, you're together... for now." She barely whispered the last part.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked trying not to let his anger show.

"She's going to hurt you or get you hurt."

"Alexis"

"She treats you terribly and despite that you seem to be blindly in love. Do you not remember this summer?"

"I'm going to be just fine. Kate and I had a talk about what happened this summer, it's not going to happen again." He defended.

"It's going to end badly. She's going to break your heart."

"That's a possibility with every relationship."

"But this will destroy you. It will. I know you love her, Dad. And I care about her too, but I can't trust her not to run away. She'll leave when things get too serious." Alexis trying to hold back her tears.

"Things are already serious."

"You need to stop shadowing her." She blurted out.

"What?" Rick definitely didn't see that coming.

"You are going to do something stupid." She responded, and he gave her a confused look. That was it. Alexis' concern turned to anger. "Come on, Dad. I read _Heat Rises_. Rook took that bullet for Heat, the same way you tried to do for Kate. But what really bothers me is that when you had the power to control what happened you were the one that got shot not her. "

"It's not like that. You're reading too much into it."

"You love subtext. That's exactly what it means." Alexis did not want to hear it.

"Honey, Yes, I try to protect Kate. But I would never do anything that directly endangered my life. You know that."

"Like meeting with that shadowing guy Captain Montgomery sent after you."

"He didn't send him after me. He sent him to me, to help Beckett." Rick decided it was time to just talk about this. He would give her details if she asked.

"You only know what he's told you. Did Montgomery tell you anything himself?" She questioned.

"Well... no" Damn, He knew this wasn't going to go well.

"Exactly, you don't know this guy is safe and yet you go meet him in parking garages, Alone!" She tried to stay just angry, but tears fell.

"You know about that?"

"I'm not a little kid anymore, I hear things. Your office isn't sound proof, you know." Ironically, her voice sounded very small.

"I'm sorry." Rick didn't know what to say to make this okay for her.

"I just... I love you so much. I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't want to become Kate Beckett."

Rick pulled his daughter into a hug and she continued to cry into his shoulder.

"I'm going to be more careful, I promise, but I can't stop working at the precinct. It's a part of my life now. "

"You really think, she'll make you happy?" Alexis asked.

"I'm sure of it."

"Well ... ok."

"Ok? I don't want you to lie." He needed to know how she really felt.

"Yeah, I'll support you. I do like Kate, I'm just worried."

"I know, sweetheart and I appreciate that" They hugged for a long moment, and he kissed the top of her head.

"Did you guys eat?" Alexis asked. It was almost 8 o'clock.

"Nope, I was going to cook us all something"

"Sorry, I just needed to process, and I am happy for you. I know you've wanted this for a long time."

"Thank you. Come on. I'll whip something up." Rick smiled.

* * *

><p>Kate walked in her apartment and looked around the wide empty space. When she first moved in, she loved how big it was, but recently it just seemed lonely. She was seriously worried about Alexis. She looked so hurt when she walked away. But why? Kate knew the teen was worried her dad would get hurt, and she had every right to be, but still there had to be more to it than that. Kate couldn't stand the idea of coming between Rick and Alexis. But what if Alexis wanted them to break up? Would Rick listen? Did she want him to? No. NO. She loves Rick, like real love. He's her one and done. He's it. She can't lose him. She won't. It will all be fine, but just telling herself that wasn't enough. She decided take a bath to help clear her mind. This train of thought had to end before she broke down. That was not happening tonight. Wine wasn't the best idea tonight considering she hadn't eaten in a while, but bubbles and ... <em>Heat Wave. <em>Yeah, that would do the trick. She didn't even try to convince herself that what she really wanted was to be with him tonight like they planned, but for now _Heat Wave_ was as close as she was going to get. Kate was broken from the fictional version of her life into reality when her phone rang about an hour later. Her heart dropped when she saw "Castle" flash on the screen. Did she really want to know what Alexis had said about them?

"Beckett"

"Hey"

"Did you talk to her?" She asked anxiously.

"Yeah, we had a good talk. She's just concerned, but it's fine. We talked it out."

"What's she concerned about?"

"Kate"

"Come on, Rick." She had to know.

"This summer when you left me hanging for three months, I was angry ... at everything and everyone. Now I know you would never do this intentionally, but she thinks you're going to break my heart. And, Kate, she has a point. I honestly don't think anyone has the ability to hurt me the way you do."

"I'm sorry." She nearly whispered.

"For what? Making me love you? Don't be." Rick tried to lighten the mood.

"I'm still not sure how that happened?"

"I am. You're extraordinary, Kate, and the only person that can't seen that is you."

"You really do have a way with words." Kate gently pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

"By the way, did I hear splashing?" Rick laughed.

"I'm um ... in the tub." She admitted

"Oh God" He took a sharp deep breath.

"Castle"  
>"Sorry"<p>

"Are you doing anything tomorrow night?" Kate asked.

"Catching bad guys." He responded with a chuckle.

"Funny, but seriously. I'm hoping since it's Saturday we can get out at a decent time."

"You think?"

"Yeah, Gates won't even be there. I'm not concerned."

"Kate Beckett, will you go out on date with me tomorrow night?" Maybe he was old fashioned but no way did she get to ask him out first.

"Absolutely" She said smiling ear to ear.

* * *

><p>I know I had said there would be more fluff in this one, but I thought there was a few more things to work out first. This was kind of a build up chapter, I changed my plans on how I wanted to do some things and needed a little more set up. I have it all worked out now. Next chapter will be Alexis's interview, a little angst, and the promised fluff, and some more of the case (just a little of that lol). <strong>I love reviews let me know what you thought :) <strong>and let me just say 47 Seconds OMG I have only seen the ABC and CTV previews, but WOW I'm not sure I'm gonna survive it. I can't wait to see what these final five episodes have in store for us


	7. Chapter 7

Hey Everybody, I know it's been a ridiculously long time since I updated, but I'm back. The end of the school year was hectic. I have been crazy busy and had a lot going on. I actually like this chapter a lot. Even if it reminded how much I think about this show and these characters. It might be unhealthy lol. Thanks to everyone who has stuck with me and everyone just joining. Thanks so much for reading. And a very big thank you to LadyAilith for messaging me and caring about this story. I dedicate this chapter to you :)

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><p>It was nearly 6 pm, when they left the precinct with Rick promising to pick her up about 8. He had managed to get last minute reservations at Daniel on the upper East Side. The food and atmosphere were perfect. Kate couldn't remember ever being this excited for a date. Especially after working on a Saturday after a long week. Normally, the last thing she wanted to do was get all dressed up and go out. Now, all she could think about was what she was going wear as that decision was yet to be finalized.<p>

It was 8 on the dot when Castle knocked on her door. He was nervous, like sweaty teenage boy nervous. He's Richard freaking Castle. He does not get nervous for a date. He does not make his mother and Alexis verify that he looks good and fix his hair seven times before he leaves the loft. But tonight was different. Tonight he was finally taking Kate Beckett out on a real date. When she opened the door, all thoughts left his head. She was gorgeous. Kate was wearing a beautiful purple dress with a high slit in it. He was completely dazed at the slight. He snapped back to focus when she chuckled.

"What?" He asked with a small smile expecting to be told to pick his jaw up off the floor.

"We match." she said. Castle was wearing a black suit with a crisp white shirt and purple silk tie.

He tore his eyes off her and looked down at himself, actually forgetting what he was wearing. "Yeah, I guess we do." He laughed.

"I didn't tell you I was wearing purple."

"No... um I guess we're just in sync." He shrugged.

"Let's go, Rick." She said grabbing her purse and they headed out.

* * *

><p>Dinner went perfectly. It felt nothing like a first date. They were so comfortable together. The conversation ranged from Alexis, to their current case, to books, to Castle trying to convince her to go to Comic Con with him this summer. For the first time in a long everything felt right to Kate. When they were done eating the headed over to the lounge and bar room. There was soft jazz music playing, plenty of tables, and a small dance floor. Rick headed over to the bar to get them some drinks, and Kate got them a table.<p>

"This place really is fantastic, Rick. Dinner was amazing."

"Yeah, this is one of my favorite restaurants in the city."

"I'm so glad we finally did this."

"Oh Kate, you have no idea how happy I am."

"I think I might." She said with a smile. He leaned over and stole a soft, slow kiss.

"Do you want to dance?" Rick asked desperate to hold her close.

She nodded, and they got up linking hands. "Remember the first time we danced?" Kate asked as they swayed to the music.

"Of course, how could I forget? It was amazing. And that red dress. God, Kate. But I still want to know where you kept your badge." He laughed softly.

"Keep wondering, Mr. White Whale."

"Oh now that's not even funny." Rick said twirling her out and back in.

"I thought it was." Kate was grinning ear to ear.

He gave a light kiss and pulled her in tight against him. They danced close for a while. Each giving the other subtle, longing touches and letting hand start to roam as time went on.

"Want to get out of here?" He asked gently in her ear.

"Let's go."

They headed out to the foyer of the restaurant, and Rick called his driver to come get them. He considered taking the Ferrari, but Daniel had a huge wine selection plus the bar room so he didn't want to be concerned with driving.

"My place or yours?" He asked when the car pulled up only a minute or two after he called.

"Are Martha and Alexis home?"

"It's Saturday night so my mother would never be home at this hour, and Alexis is staying at Paige's tonight."

"Ok, well yours then." She replied with a smile. Kate loved her apartment, but his had such a homey feel. She was happy there, not that she was planning on telling him that exactly. Castle told the driver, and they cuddled up on the back seat. By the time they got to the loft, it was taking way too much self control to keep their hands off each other.

They headed into his office just in case Martha or Alexis did come home. Well that's how they justified it to each other as they went towards his bedroom. However, they really did only make it to the office before they were on the couch on top of each other. It wasn't the best idea as the couch wasn't very big, but neither one could bring themselves to care. Things were heating up quickly until one of the them pressed into the smart board remote he had obviously left on the couch. At the small ding of it turning on Rick froze. Kate noticed his change in body language instantly and looked at him questionably.

"Sorry, I just ... I was laying on this." He said breathlessly reaching around and finding the stray remote. She looked up at the smart board, but thankfully the open file was the _Frozen Heat _story board. He left out a loud sigh and turned it off.

"You good?" She asked. He nodded quickly and captured her lips in his. The seemingly small incident had slowed things down considerably, but the fire was certainly still there. Castle couldn't get his mind off the fact that a very different file could have opened. That they could be yelling at each other right now, that she could have walked right out of his door. He had to tell her before they went any further. He had to, no matter what happened because of it.

* * *

><p>" I should go." Kate said with a small smile at the sound of the front shutting. She didn't know if it was Martha or Alexis coming home, but either way it was late and she needed to get off the couch before she ended up in his bed.<p>

"Ok." Rick replied. He never expected her to stay. It was too early in their relationship, and he had no intentions of pushing her into anything.

They strolled hand in hand to out of his office and quickly scanned the loft, but there was no one around. At the door, they kissed each other fiercely making Kate start to second guess her need to go home. Martha had obviously gone upstairs and it would be easy for them to sneak back to his office and then his room. Kate Beckett was not a woman who slept with a guy on the first date, but this wasn't just a guy. It was different, and she was sure of it. Tonight could hardly be considered their first date. They had been together for 3 weeks officially and practically 4 years before that. When they broke apart, the look on his face dramatically contradicted the look on hers.

"Can you come over tomorrow?" He asked at nearly a whisper.

"Yeah sure... Rick, what's wrong?"

"I just need to talk to you." Castle replied not meeting her eyes.

"We're talking now." She said with a small laugh.

"Kate" He was practically begging, but for what she didn't know.

"Castle, just tell me what's going on."

"I need to talk to you about something, but tonight was so perfect and I just ..."

"Don't want to ruin it." Kate finished.

He nodded solemnly.

"Rick, you're scaring me."

"Come on" He said pulling her away from his door and into his office. He gestured for her to sit at his desk and turned on the smart board.

"Please just to listen to everything I have to say before you leave. I need you to know the whole story."

"Ok."

Castle opened a file labeled "Beckett" and turned to look at her. Her face fell, and her eyes were quickly taking in all the information.

"What is this? There's new stuff on here." She couldn't read fast enough to keep up with places her mind was taking her.

"Before Montgomery went to the hangar, he sent a package to a man. Someone he trusted, ... an old friend, I don't know. This man... , he's involved in all this. He knows who's behind your mother's murder, behind everything. Montgomery trusted him to protect his family and you." Rick blurted out. He wanted to plan out what he was going to tell. He wanted to be prepared, but since he couldn't keep his poker face earlier it couldn't be put off any longer.

"Castle, I don't understand." She was in total disbelief.

"These people want to kill you, Kate. Montgomery's friend cut a deal with them. Blackmail, I think. He keeps the contents of the package quiet if they leave you alone. It's the only leverage we have." Castle paused to allowed her to speak, but Kate remained silent so Rick continued. "He called me right after you were shot. The mystery man didn't receive the package until after it happened. He knew... He knew they were going to try again so he made the deal as soon as he read what Montgomery had sent him. Then... He called me."

"Are you involved in this? Do you know who's behind this?" Beckett asked her voice no longer a whisper but strong and cold.

"No, no I don't. This guy just told me the only way he could protect you was if you stopped investigating. He needed someone to make sure you didn't keep pursuing it. But there was nothing to pursue, no leads. Ryan, Esposito, and I went through everything from your shooting. The guy's a ghost. Kate, I don't know anything." He scrambled to explain.

"But you could, I could. Castle, you say we have no leads, but you've been sitting on one for almost a year." She stood up and looked him square in the eye.

"I have no idea who this guy is. He's a voice on the phone, a shadow in a parking garage-"

"You met with him?" Beckett interjected.

"I had to, I had to protect you."

"I don't need your protection. When are you going to realize that this is my life, and I am fully capable of making my own decisions?"

"I know you are. I know. It's just..."

"Just what?" Her voice was so intense. She was no longer Kate, this was all Detective Beckett.

"This case. You put blinders on. You run into the fire and don't look back. I couldn't let you do that."

"You don't know what's best for me."

"I'm just trying to stop you from getting yourself killed." He was desperate for her to understand his point of view.

"I can take care of myself, Castle."

"I know, I know you can. And I know I should have told you all this earlier, but I was afraid. I was terrified, Kate. The first time he called me you weren't even out of the hospital yet. I couldn't talk to you. You said you needed space, and I wanted to respect that. But days turned to weeks turned to months, and I never heard from you. I had no idea how you were doing. I had no idea if you were trying to investigate on your own. All I could hope was that if I couldn't find anything maybe you couldn't either. At least if they believed you weren't looking, they would leave you alone. So true or not I let them think it."

"I didn't start looking until I came back to work. I couldn't ... I couldn't handle it before then. And then I stopped because you asked me to. You! I never thought you would betray me. After Montgomery told me he was involved, I couldn't trust anyone. He helped me, Castle. He helped me investigate. He helped find new leads, but the whole time he knew the answers. He knew every time I made a wrong move. He knew! He was more than my captain, Roy was my friend. But the truth is, his actions led to my mother's death. And I was completely clueless. How could I trust anyone because the last person I would suspect...was the person I had been looking for the past 12 years." Her resolve was failing and tears threatened to fall.

"Kate, you know he didn't order her murder. He's not the one behind this. He was just a pawn in a bigger game."

"It doesn't matter, Rick. We're all pawns in this game. All we get to decide is which side we're playing for." She paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "And you made the wrong choice." With that she turned and headed for the door.

"Kate, No. Kate, Stop. You promised you would listen to everything I had to say."

"What else is there? You were the one person in the world I thought I could trust, but you were just another person playing cover up." She didn't turn around, but at least she stayed in place, a hand on door knob.

"It's not like that. We are going to get these people, Kate. We are going to find them. It just needs time to cool down. This mystery man has everything we need to take them out. I have some ideas of how we could get to him. I just needed time to make sure you were okay so that we all get out of this alive. I never intended to let him get away this." Rick couldn't let her walk out that door. He just needed her to look at him. Surely the look in his eyes, the tears on his face would show her that he never intended to hurt her.

"When's it going to be time?" She asked weakly.

"I don't know."

"There's never going to be a safe time." Kate said as her hand fell away from the door back to her side.

"Yes, but there is going to be a time we could do it quietly."

"We wait until they think what? That I don't care anymore and then make our move. Castle, that doesn't make sense."

"It's all I've got. I love you. I love you so much. I can't lose you."

"Castle." His name barely made it out of her mouth as she turned and saw him. He was staring at his feet and swaying slightly. It was obvious he was breaking down.

"I'm sorry but that's the truth. I'm going to do whatever I can to keep you safe." Rick said looking up.

"You really think if I make a run at them they'll kill me?" Kate asked meeting his eyes.

"I'm sure of it."

"I can't wait forever. My mom deserves justice."

"She's going to get it." His voice was like steel, he really meant it.

"So we wait. We plan."

"Yeah, we wait."

Kate took a deep breath."Ok." She said with slight head nod.

"Ok?" Rick was sure he was going to lose her just a few moments ago. Kate walked towards him and put her arms around him. He quickly pulled her in close.

"I love you." Kate whispered in his ear.

"I love you too." They stood there for a long time in each other's embrace.

* * *

><p>Thanks so much for reading. I'm going to update as soon as I can. I'm going to try to build this story back and not be unreliable. I love reviews :)<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry, I am the worst updater ever.

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle in any way, shape, or form. Besides, I'm pretty sure ABC would have fired my slow butt a long time ago.

* * *

><p>"I should go." Kate whispered pulling away from his embrace.<p>

"You could stay here tonight." Castle suggested gently. He didn't want her to think that his intentions weren't completely pure. Tonight was not a night for that, not anymore.

"Thank you, but I really should go. I just need some space."

"Yeah ...ok" He figured there was no chance she would actually stay, so he wasn't surprised.

"Just tonight. I'll see you in the morning?" Kate said with a small smile.

"I'll be the one with the coffee." He confirmed.

"Good night, Rick" She leaned back into his arms, and he enclosed her body completely, placing a small kiss on top of her head.

"Until tomorrow"

* * *

><p>"Yo Beckett." Esposito called through the bull pen.<p>

"You find anything?" She asked as he approached her desk where her and Castle were sitting.

"Yeah, so get this I was looking over Rennison's phone records and found a bunch of calls from the same number all less than a minute long. It looks like Rennison was just letting it ring through to voicemail. I ran the number, and it belongs to one Frank Marley. Turns out he's the grandson of one of Emerson's clients, an elderly woman who recently lost a ton of money when her pension took a hit."

"Does Marley have any priors?" Castle jumped in.

"Nope record's clean." Espo explained.

"Ok, well still it's a start. Why don't you and Ryan run out to the office and see if anyone recognizes his picture. Maybe he came by to try to talk in person when he couldn't get through on the phone? And ask around, see if any other clients may have been unhappy enough to take it to the boss as well." Beckett requested.

"Hey guys, I just got the reports from the forensic accounts that were looking through Emmerson's computer. You not going to believe this." Ryan said with a smile as he came to join the group.

"What?"

"He was only working 5 accounts and not a single one added up. They were actually losing money despite his reports that they were gaining."

"Where was the money coming from?" Beckett asked.

"Did it actually exist or just on paper?" Castle wondered to the group.

"No it was real, and it all came wire transfers from other people's investments within the firm. It looks like he was taking from some clients and giving to others. " Ryan explained.

"Why would they do that?"

"I don't know, but the transfers total almost 2 million dollars and were all authorized using through Renninson's pass code ."

"Any chance Louise Marley was one of the clients they were stealing from?" Beckett asked.

"Um let me check. They were taking money from a lot people to try to cover their tracks... Louise Marley, right here, it looks like they took almost eight grand." Ryan said putting the papers down on Beckett's desk so everyone could see.

"Actually just skip the office visit, let's bring Frank Marley in."

"You got it, boss." Esposito responded and both the guys headed towards the elevator.

"Can you make me a copy of your board?" Kate asked once Ryan and Espo were out of ear shot.

"Kate" Castle sighed, He was surprised she hadn't brought it up the second he got there this morning. She had been suspiciously quiet on the subject all day.

"I'm not... I'm not going to do anything. I just want to read it. I'm not going to doing anything stupid, but I need to know what you've found."

"I can email you the file, but you have to promise me you're not going to do this alone."

"I just want to read it." Kate said looking him directly in the eye. She was telling the truth.

"Ok... alright. I'm actually going to put it on a flash drive just in case." Castle said after taking a moment to think.

"In case?"

"The mystery man said the only way to keep you safe was make you stop investigating. I don't want to leave any trail that you're starting to."

"You think they're monitoring my email?" Kate asked fear all over her face.

"I have no idea, but it's not a chance I'm willing to take." Castle replied and reached up grabbing her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Ok, can you give it to me tomorrow? I just want to know so I can stop thinking about it."

"There's not much that you don't already know. All I added was the few cryptic messages he gave me. It doesn't make much sense. The majority of it is my own theory and speculation."

"Does it involve ninjas or the CIA?" Beckett chuckled.

"Kate." He said not appreciating her question.

"Sorry just .. uh trying to lighten the mood." She replied apologetically.

"You said give it to you tomorrow. Am I not going to see you tonight?" Rick asked.

"It's Monday."

"Oh yeah. Sorry" He knew she had her appointments with Dr. Burke on Monday nights. He didn't want to make her feel awkward about it.

"No it's fine. And I'm meeting my dad for dinner after, so it might be kind of late before I'm free."

"Well I'll be home, so if you want to stop and get it that's fine."

"I'll call you." Kate said releasing his hand and standing his hand.

* * *

><p>"Well that was a complete bust." Castle sighed as they left the interrogation room.<p>

"I guess we should have done a little more research first, found out he was about to graduate from law school."

"He still didn't have to be so arrogant. Could of just told us his alibi and explained his story nicely."

"Yeah well then he wouldn't be a lawyer." Kate laughed.

"So now what?"

"We'll start down the list of people who lost money and see if anyone has priors. I'll have the guys run them and if something pops we'll pick them up in the morning. I feel bad ducking out this early, but I don't think they'll mind. The list isn't that long, they'll knock it out, and still get home early."

"Do they know?" Castle asked.

"Know what?"

"Why you always leave on time on Mondays."

"No, No! Do you think they've noticed? It's not like I leave early, just on time." Kate panicked.

"Don't feel bad, honestly I doubt they realize. I mean I really didn't."

"And you watch my every move." She laughed.

"Hey, don't make fun of me."

"I'm sorry, hon."

"Oh My God! You just called me 'hon'."

"Shut up, I'm leaving" Kate called over her shoulder as she walked away more than a little embarrassed.

"Doesn't matter, you still said it."

* * *

><p>"Katie"<p>

"Hey Dad" Kate said with a smile as she took her seat across from him in the booth.

"How's work?" He asked. It was just about his standard question.

"Not too bad, we're working a double."

"You know I'm proud of you, right? I know I wasn't the most supportive when you decided you wanted be a cop, but hearing how good you are at, the change you make in people's lives, the families you help. I'm just proud Katie and your mother would be too."

"Thank You" She said with small smile. "Actually I need to talk to you about Mom."

"What have you found?" He asked his tone completely darkened.

"Not me, Rick. Turns out he's been in contact with an old friend of Roy Montgomery. This guy made a deal with the people who hired Coonan to kill her... and Rick agreed to keep me from investigating so this deal could go through. Apparently, this arrangement is the only reason I'm alive right now."

"I don't understand."

"I got too close to the truth. Montgomery had evidence against the person behind everything. This thing is huge. It's not just about Mom. It's about a lot of people. A lot of moms and dads... My opinion is that the person in charge believes that I know too much. Before Montgomery was killed, he sent this information to someone he thought could help. This guy is using it to protect myself and Montgomery's family, but it would only work if I stopped. After I was shot, Montgomery's friend called Rick, and he agreed to make me back down. If I kept digging, the deal was off and they would have me killed." She explained.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"I just found out."

"You didn't know?" Jim questioned.

"I told you everything I knew that night back in June. I know I hadn't ever told you the details before then, but at that point you knew everything I did. I hadn't found anything else because I had stopped looking... just like Rick told me. I didn't find out about Montgomery's friend or Rick's involvement till last night." Kate explained referencing that night in his cabin over the summer when she broke down and finally answered all her dad's questions.

"How'd you find out?"

"Castle told me."

"So now he's Castle." Jim said raising his eyebrows.

"What?" Kate was honestly confused.

"You've been calling him Rick all night." He replied with a smirk.

"No I haven't." She quickly defended.

"Think about it, Katie"

She paused and then a huge smile spread across her face. "Well I guess this brings me to my second piece of information for the night... Rick and I have been dating for about a month."

"It's about damn time."

"Dad!"

"I'm sorry, but it's true. And you two are still together after the events of last night?" He asked somberly.

"Yes, we are. We still need to talk about this some more, but he made a lot sense. He explained why he did what he did, and his heart really was in the right place. He was only trying to protect me."

"Very mature. You know, Rick isn't the only one who tried to get you to stop investigating. I had no idea about this mystery man, but I do remember telling you to back down many times. That even if you couldn't let it go to have someone else take the case."

"I know... I just I have to do this myself. But Dr. Burke has been helping. I don't think I'm going to pursue this guy Castle's talking to... not yet."

"Why not? I expected you to tell me you had a plan to make a run at him." Jim had been bracing himself for her to explain some crazed and dangerous idea.

"Castle said he doesn't know who he is or have a way to get in contact with him. I guess he just calls when he thinks we need help. Castle's only talked with him on two occasions, and he seems to be trustworthy because Rick met with him alone in parking garage and nothing happened. Even if Castle was an idiot for taking that chance."

"You think you can trust him because he didn't kill Rick?" This was not reasoning that Jim was ok with.

"If he wanted either one of dead, we would be. That much I'm sure of. We have no way to be certain that this guy really knew Montgomery or that there even is a package, but his story seems to make sense. I...I've spent a lot of time thinking about why they didn't come after me again. These guys are professionals, dad, if the boss wanted me dead it would be no big deal to the kind of people he employs. There's still times I can't believe that the sniper didn't kill me the first time. I really think it had to be Rick. He had to have gotten to me soon enough. These guys are good, the shooter didn't just miss his exact target." She explained not meeting his eyes.

"Katie"

"You said you wanted to know everything. I can stop. That was a long time ago, do you not want to know anymore?" Kate finally looked up.

"No, no. I want you to tell me things. I was so relieved when you actually told me about the case last summer instead of talking in circles. I'm a lawyer, Katie. Your need for justice doesn't just come from your mother. But... It's not easy for me to hear these things... to know how much danger my baby girl is in and at the same time know that there is nothing I can do to protect her."

"You know I regretted telling you for the longest time. I didn't want you to have to worry about me. I was concerned that it would be too much for you to handle. I wanted to protect you. But that night, I had to talk about it. I never want to talk about but that night it was like a weird need. I wanted you to know, maybe because you kept talking like I was chasing some lost cause. Like I didn't know what I was doing, and I need you to know how close I'd gotten. I think I needed to justify my actions. But now, I've realized that I was trying to make this just about me. I wanted to shoulder the pain all myself. Me against the world. I didn't want another person in my life exposed to any of these people's darkness. I thought if I gave up my own happiness you could somehow find yours." The second Kate stopped talking, she was embarrassed. She then decided she was not having any real discussions with anyone directly after seeing Dr. Burke. It left her too open and exposed.

"Katie, it doesn't work that way. I thought it was a lost cause because I had nothing to give me hope. I know I couldn't have helped in the actual investigation but I still could have helped _you._ I don't have to tell you how much your mother's death affected me, but even though I didn't dedicate my life to finding her killer I still care very much about bringing him to justice. However, finding him is not nearly as important as your life, Kate." Jim said reaching across the table and grabbing her hand and causing her to look at him.

"I know that now, but I would be lying if I said I always did."

"You came such a long way and I'm forever sorry that I couldn't be more of a help to you especially at the beginning."

"Don't be sorry. Yes, I was mad for a long time, but that's the past."

"Still, I'm your father." Jim replied shaking his head.

"I'm good, dad, really good. I am going to find him one day, but even if I don't...I know that I can still be happy."

"Your mom would be so proud of you."

"I know, I know." Kate said quietly and gave in to the tears that had been pooling in her eyes.

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><p>I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter. I just couldn't seem to get it right. Sorry about the crazy long wait. I love reviews!<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

There may be hope for me yet lol! I wasn't expecting to get an update this quickly, but inspiration struck. Thanks so much for reading, following, and favoriting. Special Thanks to everyone the reviewed! Hope you guys like this chapter. There's a fun little surprise ahead (well I think so anyway).

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle in any way, shape, or form. (Except in my dreams)

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><p>"Thank You, Mrs. Emerson. We will be right over to get it." Kate said hanging up the phone.<p>

"Get a lead?" Castle asked as he handed Beckett her coffee.

"Thanks" Kate smiled. "And yeah, Mrs. Emerson found a cell phone in her husband's home office with a ton of threatening text messages on it."

"Burner phone?"

"Probably, but if we're lucky the number he was talking to is traceable. We just have to go pick it up and get tech to run the sim card."

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><p>"Beckett, we got a hit." Ryan called out coming off the elevator.<p>

"That was quick. How tough were you on the tech guys?"

"Not at all" Ryan laughed. "I just did it myself."

"What'd you find?"

"All the texts came from William Stone. It looks like Emerson and Rennison money owed him money and when they couldn't pay it things got heated."

"Does it say what the money was for?" She asked.

"Nope, just that if he didn't get paid soon, he was going to kill them."

"Looks like they didn't pay." Castle chimed in.

"Maybe that's why they were taking money from clients and stashing it in other accounts. They were waiting till they had a enough and then were going to pull it all and blame a market crash. They were taking it from accounts where it was relatively safe and putting it in riskier investments so the large losses would be easier to account for." Ryan explained.

"Doesn't sound like a very good plan. They just created two angry clients instead of one." Beckett added.

"I didn't say they were geniuses." Ryan shrugged.

"Let's go pick Stone up"

* * *

><p>"William Stone, NYPD. Open Up!" Esposito yelled pounding on the door.<p>

"Take it." Beckett ordered.

Espo busted the door open with one swift kick just in time to see Stone fiddling with the latch on the window across from them. Ryan was on him before he could manage to get out. He cuffed him, ensured he didn't have any weapons on him, began to read him his rights. Esposito and Beckett cleared the rest of the apartment, but Stone had been alone. That's when they saw the gun on the night stand in bedroom. The team had obviously caught Stone of guard if he was planning on fleeing without taking his weapon. They quickly bagged it and marked it as evidence.

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><p>"Ugh what does she want?" Rick groaned starring at his ringing phone in the car on the way back to the precinct. Ryan and Esposito had taken Stone with them, so it was just Castle and Beckett in the car.<p>

"Who is it?" Beckett asked.

"Meredith." He took a deep breath and answered "Hello."..."What? No, you cannot stay with us."..."Don't give me that, it's been two weeks."... "That was almost three years ago."

Kate could only hear his end of the conservation, but she was pretty certain what was going on.

"Well, maybe you should come visit your daughter more often."..."She's already back to school, has been."..."No, she will not take a day off. Seriously, do you know her at all? She's not missing more school."

Kate could see the frustration all over his face. She reached over and rubbed his knee in support. He gave her a small smile.

"Whatever"... "No, no I don't know"..."Did you ask her?"..."I don't know, talk to Alexis."

Kate just drove, silently listening and hoping this wouldn't be too much of a disaster. She had only met Meredith once, but that was enough. She didn't know if she should be happy or sad for Alexis. The girl hadn't even seemed to care when her mother called while she was in the hospital. She really only wanted Rick and Martha. But maybe the teen would be happy, Meredith was her mother after all.

"Yes, I'll pay for it."..."Meredith"..."Fine, whatever. How long are you here?"

Kate hoped he didn't see her flinch at the question. It was probably selfish, but Kate wanted Meredith gone, and she wasn't even there yet. Not that she didn't trust Rick, but she was getting the impression it had been quite a long time since he enjoyed a 'deep fried Twinkie' and didn't want to know if he was craving one. He didn't seem mind that Meredith was crazy or annoying. Apparently, that was a good thing in the bed room. No, No! Kate was not letting herself get worried or jealous. She had no reason to be. Rick was hers.

"You really should have told me sooner."..."I'll take care of it." Rick continued to talk sounding angry and uninterested. "Yes, I'll see you later."..."Bye". He hung up and shoved his phone back into his jacket pocket, but he didn't say a word.

"Rick?" Kate questioned after a moment.

"Meredith's in town."

"Yeah, I figured that much."

"She just landed at LaGuardia and called to see if anyone was at the loft to let her in." He huffed.

"She didn't tell you she was coming?" Kate asked, but she was fairly certain of the answer.

"Nope, thought she would surprise everyone."

"You certainly look surprised."

"Surprised, pissed. Same thing."

"I'm sorry." She said gently and put her hand back on his thigh.

"It's not your fault." He gave her hand a small squeeze, but released it so she could put it back on the wheel. "Meredith thinks she's the mother of the year coming to see her _sick daughter,_ two weeks after surgery when she's almost completely better. I don't get it. She hasn't been here in years, always makes Alexis come to her. Now she just shows up and expects to stay with us and have Alexis spend all this time with her. She doesn't even understand that she has 2 months left of high school and is trying to get an internship. That she's busy and doesn't have time to go waltzing around the city with her crazy mother." Rick's frustration was all over his face and evident in his voice.

"Maybe this will help Meredith see that, get to know Alexis better. She surely has to understand that school is important to her. Yes, she should have came sooner and definitely need to call, but it makes sense that she wants to come make sure she's ok."

"I don't have any problem with her coming. I don't even mind paying for her hotel, even if she insists on staying at The Ritz. I wish she came more often. Alexis should have a better relationship with her mother, but every time she shows up it like tornado hits. She disrupts everything, and Alexis is stressed enough as it is."

"You don't think she will be happy to see her?" Kate questioned.

"She'll pretend to be to protect her mother's feeling, but I know she's gonna flip. She has her interview at the law firm tonight, like an hour after school. She's already freaking out about having enough time to get ready not to mention what they are going to ask her."

"Maybe you should wait till after to tell her that Meredith's here."

"Definitely, I'm not giving her anything more to worry about."

"I'm sure the interview will go fine."

"I was meaning to ask you about that. I know it was your mom's firm. Did you make a call or something? Give her application a little nudge?" Rick asked suddenly getting a little nervous half way through.

"No, I didn't do anything. Alexis was completely innocent when she asked for the letter of recommendation, and everything I wrote was 100% truthful. No over exaggerations or hyperbole. Depending on who read the applications, they may have recognized my name, but not necessarily. Berman's the only one there that knew my mom. Walsh's son took his position a few years back, and McCartney never worked with her. I doubt it had anything to do with me or my mother. Alexis earned this all on her own."

"Thank You"

"For not trying to pull any strings to help your daughter?" Kate laughed.

"For having enough confidence in her that you didn't feel you needed to."

" I saw her resume. It was seriously impressive. I originally was going to call Berman, see if I could help her case at all, but when she sent me her application I knew I didn't have to. You should really ask her to read her essay. It was amazing. You're not the only writer in the family, or the only one that cares about justice. I didn't want to tarnish her acceptance. She needs to know she did this all on her own."

"I love you"

"I love you too." Kate smiled as they pulled into the precinct "Do you need to go or are you staying for the interrogation?"

"I'm staying. Meredith's already in New York; there's nothing I can do about it."

"Ok. Let's go close this case."

* * *

><p>"Mr. Stone, I'm Detective Beckett. This is Mr. Castle." She announced as they walked in and took a seat across the table from him. The man didn't even look up. "Want to talk about why you ran from us or better yet, about the gun we found in your apartment?" Beckett inquired harshly. The man was frozen and didn't say a word."Did you know either one of these men?" She asked pulling out pictures of Emerson and Rennison.<p>

"No." Stone finally spoke up after barely glancing at the photos.

"So, You haven't been texting Tom Emerson threats about money he owed you?" Castle asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" Stone had yet to look up. Apparently, the table top was very interesting.

"Well you might want to figure it out because once we get the ballistics report back from your gun, it's too late. Once we confirm it's a match to the gun that killed Emerson and Rennison, it's all over. You get 2 first degree murder charges plus resisting arrest and whatever else we find concerning the money. You will go to jail for the rest of your life." Beckett said sliding her chair back away from the table. The motion finally startled Stone into lifting his head.

"I want a lawyer." He barked out.

"Not a problem. I heard they're considering doing some renovations at Rikers maybe you'll get a new cell." Beckett said nonchalantly as she stood up and headed for the door. Castle quickly followed.

"Wait!" Stone yelled just as she took a step out of the room.

"Yes?"

"I'll talk." Stone said dejectedly.

* * *

><p>"I was really hoping there was a better story to it. I mean gambling debt? Come one. They practically gamble money all day and call it work. They couldn't find something better to do with their free time?"<p>

"Sorry, Castle. Every murder can't be novel worthy." Kate shrugged.

"Yeah, yeah whatever. At least we got him."

"And that's all that matters." She smiled.

"So how much paper work do you have to do?"

"Less since he confessed and ballistics probably won't be done tonight. I'm going to write up as much as I can, and the rest will have to wait till tomorrow."

"Ok, I think I'm gonna head out then if that's ok?" Castle asked. "I want to be there when Alexis gets home."

"Yeah, go head. Good Luck."

"Thanks, I'm gonna need it. I'll call you later."

"Ok" She said and looked around, seeing no one in hall outside the interrogation rooms, she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss.

"If 'call you later' gets me a kiss, maybe I should have said 'see you later'. What would that have gotten me?"

"Precinct, Castle."

"Which is why I'm surprised."

"You needed a good surprise today." She smiled and headed for her desk.

* * *

><p>"Hey, how'd it go?" Rick asked coming to meet Alexis right when she walked in the door.<p>

"Really well, I think I actually have shot."

"Of course you do. You wouldn't have gotten an interview if they didn't think you were qualified."

"I know, but still. I was the only high school kid there." She shrugged.

"Kate told me your application was amazing."

"My essay just kind of took off, you know? It ended up not at all what I was going for, but I really liked it." Alexis said with a smile.

"I know exactly what you mean."

"The interview questions actually weren't too bad. Mr. Berman was really nice. He started out with ice breaker question and asked what the strangest thing that ever happened to me was? Said it was a good way to start the ball rolling."

"What'd you say?"

"I told him about last fall when that photographer caught us coming out of The Angelica at night, and we ended up on page six as Jason Bateman and his new girlfriend." She said with laugh.

"It was really dark and that picture was blurry. Plus they only ran it small in the bottom corner." Rick defended. He was still mortified that he was in the paper "dating" his daughter even if it was under the wrong name and very few people had noticed it was them.

"Still hilarious."

"Yeah, it was. How'd Mr. Berman react?" He asked not sure if it was actually appropriate for her to tell him that story. It wasn't exactly very professional.

"He laughed. I think he liked it."

"Good, I'm glad it went well." Castle said pulling her into a big bear hug.

"You're home early." She said when they pulled away.

"Yeah, uh a little bit."

"Dad... What's up?" Alexis could see the uncertainty all over her father's face.

"Your mom's in town."

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><p>Thoughts? Comments? I couldn't resist the Jason Bateman reference. I watched Eye of the Beholder earlier. I was literally laughing at myself when I wrote it. I'm lame, I know. I'm also weirdly excited to write Meredith. Expect some MeredithKate and Kate/Rick on the subject next chapter. It's gonna be fun one lol. And in case anyone was wondering from last chapter, I got Papa Beckett being a lawyer from a deleted scene from Knockdown. He said him and Johanna worked together. Look it up on Youtube, the scene is so much for reading. I love you guys. I'm going to start responding to reviews and get caught up on some old ones, so let me know what you're thinking.

Thanks for reading,

Meagan


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